Third Time's the Charm
by Betty Hart
Summary: I was never good at being "in trouble." In fact, I tried to avoid it. I was a good student. I never got detentions. I hardly ever fought with my parents. And yet, here I was, "in trouble." : AkuRoku
1. Prologue

"_Oh, Axel, you're back," the receptionist stated with a feeble smile and began pulling out the various forms that were needed to process me. I could tell she was less than pleased to see me again, but I smiled back brightly anyways. I wasn't one to really care about peoples' opinions about me be it pity or disgust. I just tried to carry on with my life, doing what I was doing, but every once in awhile I managed to get stuck in a web._

"_Fifth time's the charm, right?" I asked with a shrug, watching her eyes shift to the officer who stood behind me. Her attention was now on him as she directed him where to initial and sign on the forms. I was used to this, too. Being ignored by the 'higher ups.' I began drumming my fingers on the desk, much to their dismay I'm sure, to let them know that I was indeed still here as I waited for my turn to sign the papers and fill out the information. My information, having been here four times before, had to be filed away somewhere. I'm not the brightest guy out there, but I'm pretty sure important little files like that weren't just burned after their use was up._

"_Third time, Axel. Third time's the charm," she finally replied to me, tapping the pen on the forms after she slid them in front of me, breaking me from my thoughts. I scanned over the paper and made a small face when I noticed the only thing that was required was my signature. It was like they didn't trust me or something!_

Name: Lea, Axel  
Age: 25  
Sex: M  
Reason for Admittance: Heroin Addiction

"_Just sign on the line and you can go into the other room to wait. There are a few other new people coming in, so we're going to get everyone organized at once," she began explaining more things, but I tuned her out and scrawled my signature on the line at the bottom of the page. I knew what to do. I could probably recite the instructions in my sleep. Sliding the paper back to her I saluted the officer with a small sneer before turning on my heel and heading off to the other room._

_It was going to be another long two months. _


	2. Chapter One

I wanted to die. I really, really wanted to die. My heart was pounding in my chest and I swore my stomach was about to flip out of my throat. Vomiting was surely inevitable. There's no way I could finish this day without puking out my insides. I rubbed my sweating palms on the knees of my worn jeans for what felt like the hundredth time and continued to stare out the passenger side window as I was driven to my unfortunate fate. I tried to focus on other things, like the trees, the road, the oh-so cliché rain - anything that would take my mind off this utter panic I was feeling. Of course, it didn't work. Does it ever work? How can you possibly distract yourself from impending doom?

You can't.

A muted voice was droning on and on beside me. I could distract myself from that easy enough, sure. Aerith or my "babysitter," as I preferred to call her, was my ride and, while she was attempting to talk to me in order to explain some things and to calm me down, she was really talking to herself. I wasn't listening. Fuck it, I _couldn't_ listen. Not at a time like this - not when the only thing I could hear was my heartbeat inside my skull and her voice muffled in the background. I knew the rehabilitation centre was my only option, but, damn, did it spike my anxiety to record highs. Heaving a sigh, yet again, I leaned forward and rested my forehead onto the window. Aerith's voice eventually trailed off. I wouldn't be surprised if the air of my overall mood managed to suffocate her.

I was never good at being "in trouble." In fact, I tried to avoid it. I was a good student. I never got detentions. I hardly _ever_ fought with my parents. And yet, here I was, "in trouble." I pulled my thumb to my mouth, chewing the skin around it, and closed my eyes in attempt to calm down some more.

_Inhale…1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 Exhale…1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 Inhale… 1, 2, 3, 4, 5-_

"It'll be good for you, Roxas." My door was opened and I was greeted by a gust of cool, damp air and Aerith's soft voice. I opened my eyes slowly only to find Aerith in my line of vision effectively blocking my new home for the next two months from my eyesight. She smiled softly and sighed a little. I could tell she was trying to think of something comforting to say, but nothing came to mind. I watched her smile fall drastically as she opened her mouth, but promptly closing it. Damn. I must've looked pretty fucking pitiful to make even Aerith, the queen of comforting words, fail to come up with something to say. Instead, she smiled again and stepped back to wave me out of the car.

Oh god, I don't want to look.

Reluctantly, and after a few calming breaths that did absolutely nothing to help, I stood up and looked at the building.

Okay, so it wasn't as daunting as I thought. Even with the rain it didn't seem even remotely threatening. It wasn't tall. It wasn't grey. It didn't have one of those creaky, giant wrought iron gates and it certainly didn't have thunder and lighting spewing from above. It was simply a two story, white building with a manicured lawn in the front with a sign stating "The Radiant Garden Clinic." It was nothing special. Nothing that would make a person really want to take a double look. Okay, it wasn't as frightening as my imagination made it out to be, but still.

No matter how decorated a rehabilitation clinic was, it was still just that. A rehabilitation clinic. A place that you're not supposed to go. A place that you're supposed to avoid. A place that you don't speak of. At least not here. You were pretty much committing social suicide if you went to a clinic like this. It meant you were just one of those homeless junkies, despite the fact that you may have a home to go to. All that didn't matter after you stepped foot into one of these places and didn't know how to keep your trap shut. Going into rehab was attending a walk of shame.

"We have to go in, Roxas. Just staring isn't going to make your time go by faster," Aerith's voice said gently from behind me as I felt her hand lightly nudge me forward. I nodded dumbly as she stepped ahead of me and trailed behind her with my hands crammed into my hoodie's pockets. My head was doing that spinning thing again. My throat felt dry, stomach queasy, and my legs felt like they were filled with lead as I trudged forward. The building looked bigger as we got closer. I felt like I was slowly getting smaller and that cheerful little building I saw moments before was turning into the massive tower I saw in my imagination. All I needed was some lightning and this would be a scene right out of a horror movie.

I swear I blacked out as soon as the doors opened because next thing I knew I was sitting in one of those shitty plastic chairs in a room filled with other people in various states of decay. I remembered a smiling face of the receptionist, signing a paper, and words. A bunch of words that I had, of course, tuned out again. A hand on my shoulder jolted me back to reality, my eyes burning from the fact that I probably haven't blinked in some time.

"Roxas." I instantly looked up at Aerith with disdain in my eyes, silently begging her not to leave me here. To find another way out of this. I was _not_ like the others here. I didn't look like a fucking corpse and I certainly didn't have the annoying shakes and voices and all that other shit the others were experiencing.

"I don't want to _be_ here… I'm not like them," My own voice scared me. I wasn't expecting to speak and, when I did, my throat hadn't opened enough for my voice _not _to come out as a squeak. I gestured around the room as if I actually had to prove my point. I knew I didn't. Aerith _knew_ I wasn't like these other people.

"It'll be good for you, Roxas." I felt myself slump down a little at those words. She wasn't going to get me out of here, was she…? "Don't worry about them. You're here for yourself, not to make friends. Just keep your head down, do what the attendants say, and get better." I barely nodded my head, turning my vision to the floor when I felt her hand slip off my shoulder. I knew my fate was sealed when I heard her heels clicking against the laminate floor as she exited the room. Putting my hands back in my pockets, I hunched over in a feeble attempt to curl into myself and just shrink away and vanish. I knew it wouldn't happen, obviously, but the thought was nice.

_You're here for yourself, not to make friends._

I scoffed to myself at that thought. I highly doubted any of the zombies here even knew where they were let alone noticed anyone else in the room. The most of them just had vacant stares, anyways. All I had to do was keep quiet and slip by these next two months unnoticed. Besides, I _was_ here for myself. I didn't have to talk to anyone if I didn't want to. My mind was still reeling, but I managed a game plan. Shut up, lay low, and get through this alone. Simple. Easy. No problem.

_Screeeeech._

Life fucking hated me. After a few more obnoxious screeches, I figured out that it was a chair being pulled up beside me. Hopefully, I prayed, just for a better view or something.

"Hey."

I repeat, 'Life fucking hated me.'

The soft thump of someone plopping down in the chair sounded out, causing me to grit my teeth and swallow a sigh. See, I'm not really a spontaneous type of guy. As I said, I don't like to get in trouble and, for some reason, spontaneity and trouble seemed to always go hand in hand. I was more of a 'plan your shit out' type of guy. Think of every option meticulously, figure out every problem that could arise, and think of a way to counter each problem you thought of. Because I had only thought of my official game plan about, oh, thirty fucking seconds ago, it wasn't exactly all well thought out. I'm positive that I'm not the only one who gets just a _little_ pissed when someone interrupts their thoughts. Especially important thoughts. Important thoughts that will most likely allow oneself to keep their sanity.

"Haven't seen you before. New here?" I pinched the bridge of my nose, but kept looking in the opposite direction. Just some junkie who will get bored and wander off to some other junkie to start some half ass conversation neither understands. Just some junkie… Just some junkie… Ignore, ignore, ignore, ig- "Not very talkative, huh?" -nore. I heard the man beside me chuckle followed by some rustling of his clothes as he shifted on his chair.

Silence instantly enveloped me after that little laugh for a few minutes, but I knew he was still there. I hadn't heard him get up and leave and I could feel eyes boring into me. Frankly, it was getting on my nerves, but I held my ground regardless. Don't even _acknowledge_ him. Just stare ahead. He's not there. If you act like he doesn't exist, he'll leave. Yeah, okay. That was too good to be true.

"You're pretty cute…" That voice was in my ear. No, literally, right in my fucking ear. I felt the soft brush of lips on my ear and I froze. Who does that? Who the fuck does that? What do I do…? What the fuck do I do? I could feel my face heating up because, honestly, who _does_ that! My frustration finally won and I whipped my head to look at whoever the pervert was to give him a piece of my mind.

"Who the fuck-" My voice died in my throat when I saw the pervert. The very attractive pervert…

I suppose now would be a good time to clear something up. I prefer women, but I have fooled around with a few guys before. And, while I can appreciate a guy's looks, none have actually made me freeze up before like I was doing.

He was pale, skinny, like a typical druggy. But his hair was so red and bright, spiking out in all directions behind his head. However, the wild hair wasn't what got me. It was his eyes. They were the brightest green I had ever seen and the small tear drop tattoos underneath them just gave off a completely exotic look. He was captivating to say the least. Jaw dropping. Able to render a guy speechless…

Incredibly…

Undeniably…

"So you _can_ talk! Not for very long though… Thinkin' some naughty thoughts about me, cutes?"

_Infuriating_.

He was grinning at me with his cocky fucking mouth. He rested his head on the knees of his frayed black jeans that were pulled to his chest, his head tilted so he could just look at me. No… _Watch_ me. It was like he was watching every move I made, inspecting every last thing about me. Something about that was unnerving. Staring at someone was one thing, but _watching_? That was downright creepy. I narrowed my eyes at him faintly and turned my head the other way again.

He laughed. It was loud and bordering on a cackle. Definitely not something one could ignore, but I tried my fucking best.

"I was just joking, kid! What's your name?" I refused to answer. Absolutely refused. How desperate was this guy anyways? Who just saunters up to someone in a rehab clinic and attempts to make friends? Maybe he was trying to get connections for when he was out. Trying to find out what drugs I do in order to get some from my dealer or whatever. "Well, I'm Axel." I rolled my eyes. If he wanted to be persistent, I could be persistent right back and I was _sure_ I could outlast some junkie's attention span. As Aerith said, I'm not here to make friends. Besides, why should I even keep bad company anyways? They could get me in even more shit. "You _are_ cute though." I bristled at that, attempting to tune him out. "Wouldn't mind taking you out on a date."

"Axel!" Both of us jumped when his name was called by the large attendant at the front of the room. She was glaring hard at the redhead beside me, at least. Last thing I needed was to get in more shit before I even started my stay. At least it wasn't like school. Where that one fucking kid talks to you and you _both_ get in trouble. I hid my smirk when the attendant turned her back again figuring that would shut Axel up. I'm sure he really didn't mind being in trouble, of course, but surely he didn't want to step on the wrong toes.

"Hell, I'd even pay…" I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt his lips on my ear again, the whisper sending chills up my spine. I practically spun my chair around as I turned around to face him, glaring as he leaned back just as fast in his chair with that stupid smile again.

"Does that fucking work for you?" I all but snarled, glaring daggers at this _Axel_ who seemed to just be amused by my reaction. Let's see how amused he is when I tear out his fucking throat. I darted my eyes over to the attendant who still had her back turned, thankfully.

"Does what?"

"Trying to pick up boys in rehab?" Axel snorted and laughed as he leaned forward again, causing me to be the one to lean back now. I hated that fucking shit-eating grin of his. He opened his mouth to say something, but his name was called again. I let out a breath of air as I saw his smile fall off his face and his eyes darken as he turned to look at the owner of the voice. It was that wonderful attendant again. She looked like a bitch, but if she was going to keep Axel out of my hair, she was my saviour.

"_Yes_?" He hissed towards her. She glanced up again from the clipboard in her hand, her eyes locked onto the redhead's. Either he had some sort of history with this woman or the two just had a personality conflict. I slowly shifted my eyes to the attendant as well, assuming that I was safe from Axel while she was around so I didn't need to keep my eyes on him. At least my ear wouldn't be assaulted again.

She waved him over causing him to sigh loudly like a dramatic teenager and uncurled his long legs from his chair. With a loud screech from pushing his chair back, causing everyone in the room to wince as their ears were attacked, he walked slowly to the front of room. Good. Get the little shit in trouble on his first day. Maybe he'll leave me the fuck alone now.

"This is Mr. Lea's _fifth_ time here," her voice was scratchy and rough, like she hadn't had a drink of water in years and it made me cringe. I couldn't imagine what it'd be like to be right beside her like Axel was. "Almost a record. Do not become like Axel here." Okay, so this was getting a little harsh… The guy was annoying, sure, but he had a problem. I knew I was going to hate him, but to just single him out like that…? "He hasn't lost his appearance to the drugs yet, but I assure you," I watched in a mixture of shock and disgust as she gripped Axel's wrist tightly and yanked his sleeve up. "He's just like you lot."

There was a dark hole in the crook of Axel's arm along with a few others dotting around the same area. Heroin or something along those lines. I could see the anger in Axel's face, but there was something else there. Shame? Embarrassment…? He certainly looked uncomfortable, but I couldn't really blame him. Even though practically everyone in the room wasn't paying attention, having your addiction paraded around at the front of the room like some kind of disease was still nerve racking. I wasn't so sure if I liked this attendant anymore…

"Grab your clothes on the table to the left and go to your room listed on the sheet that's there as well." Axel pulled his arm out of the attendant's grip so quickly that it made her stumble and pulled down his sleeve, hiding the hole from prying eyes. I couldn't help but watch as he stormed to the table, grabbed his clothes, and left through the door. Just like that. The door was swinging violently on its hinges, banging into the wall from the force Axel had pushed it open with. I felt bad for him. As I said, I knew I was going to hate him, but I still felt bad. It was strange to see someone that was playful and teasing just moments before turn into the angry redhead who had just stormed out of the room.

I blinked a few times when the chairs started to screech from everyone standing up. Heaving a feeble sigh, I stood up as well and made my way over to the table. I wasn't overly excited for the light blue scrubs that were waiting for me on the table, but I assumed it was more for the other junkies here. Most of them had tattered, dirty clothing and the staff here probably wanted to get rid of the smelling garments as soon as possible. I grabbed my clothing and looked at the sheet of paper taped to the table in order to find my new room. Room 13. At least it was my favourite number… That had to be a sign, right?

I headed over to the swinging doors I had watched Axel storm out of and found myself in a white hallway. The fluorescent lights were flickering slightly and I could feel inevitable headache coming on. I knew that this was a clinic, but did they really have to make it so much like a hospital? I held the clothes to my chest and attempted to find my room. It was easy enough, the rooms dotted each side of the hallway, even numbers on the left, odd on the right. I noticed that there were fourteen rooms on the list so I was definitely near the very end. I didn't bother looking up as the other junkies milled around me, some following close behind me, others pushing past. I just wanted to get to my room, shut the door, and sleep for the rest of my stay. I let out a breath of air I hadn't realized I had been holding when I reached my room and opened the door.

How did I not see this one coming?

That stupid fucking grin greeted me. "I guess we're roomies."

_Fuck._


	3. Chapter Two

My life was predictable. It was almost like reading some poorly written novel by some unknown author. Some crappy mystery where you knew who the murderer was. Some shitty thriller where you knew the twist before the end…

No. Better comparison. My life was the _definition_ of Murphy's Law. Everything that can go wrong, _will_ go wrong. And it had. When I came to the clinic, I was not aware that we'd actually be paired up in rooms. In fact, that notion actually seemed like it could be problematic. What would happen if both started to have withdrawals at the same time? What then? Obviously they'd be irritable beyond reason, but what if they started to actually _fight_ each other? Surely there would be a blood bath. Not to mention, withdrawals or not, some of these people didn't seem to be exactly stable. This was a _free_ clinic after all. A lot of the junkies here had turned to drugs from some other underlying mental illness, not just for sheer recreation.

However, I chose to be selfish. What about _me_! Some tweaking junkie I was sure I could deal with. I'd ignore them, I'd leave the room. I wouldn't _care_ if they spoke to me because they simply do not exist to me right now and anyone with a brain could take the hint that I didn't want to fucking talk to them. Not this guy, though. Not _Axel_. Because my life is one big fucking joke to whoever the hell is up there, Axel was my roommate. The one who didn't know what personal space meant nor did he know when someone didn't want to speak to him. The annoying, persistent redhead was my roommate. _My_ roommate for _two months_.

I must've stared in horror for a good while before my brain actually clicked into action. I spun around on my heel to talk to someone - anyone - about this little problem. I'm sure there was no high tech code that programmed two people to a room so I couldn't see why I couldn't be switched out. I nearly smashed into the attendant from earlier, dread washing over me even more. She didn't seem like she would see eye to eye, but… she must've had a heart somewhere, right? I mean, she _knew_ Axel so she must've known what he was like!

"There's a problem," I began instantly, backing up while mumbling an apology to her. She was looking at her clipboard again, not even acknowledging my existence. "There's _no way_ I'm rooming with him," I finished almost desperately, gesturing towards the redhead, who feigned hurt, as if I had to prove a point on who I was talking about.

"Yes, you are. Change into your scrubs please, Mr. Strife." That's it? I pushed my hair back stressfully and shook my head. I could feel my anxiety rising again, but why wouldn't it be? I was probably going to be molested in my sleep by this guy.

"But-"

"Change into your scrubs please, Mr. Strife. I have many more I must attend to. Come on now." Was she serious? She wasn't even going to hear me out? I looked around the room for the bathroom, or something to change behind. Nothing.

"Don't be shy, cutes. Nothing I haven't seen before." My face heated up as I heard Axel speak from behind me from the bed by the window he seemed to have claimed without my input. I scoffed quietly as I turned to shoot a glare in his direction. _That_ wasn't the problem. Unless he was some kind of alien, which at this point would not shock me, I was positive he had the same set up as I did. Hell, I had no doubt that he had seen another guy naked before too. Just because he _knew _what was under my clothes already didn't mean it made me feel comfortable to just strip in front of him while he stared at me like I was his prey. Scratch that, stared at me like he was some dirty old man and I was a Catholic school boy.

I increased my grip around my scrubs and bit my lip as I turned away from him, facing the black haired attendant in front of me once more.

"Don't have all day, cutie!" Axel teased, yet again, from behind me. I whipped around so fast the room spun and started to snap at him. Thankfully, so _I_ wouldn't get a black mark on my record already, the attendant jumped into action before me. She stomped over to Axel's bed and pulled him up by his arm, much like she had done earlier. She lead the gangly redhead to the door before effectively shoving him out into the hall.

"_Privacy_, Axel," she scolded sternly, placing her hands onto her hips. I could still see the red spikes that belonged to Axel, but, for the most part, the attendant was blocking any view from either in or out of the room.

"You've _got_ to be kidding me!" the pervert cried out in exasperation causing me to sneer. Definitely going to get molested in my sleep…

I took the mostly empty room, even with its door open and the attendant standing with her back to me, as an opportunity to change as fast as possible. By the time I she had finished arguing with the stubborn Axel and turned back around, I was done. I doubt I have ever changed that fast in my life before. Handing my clothes to her, I tried to fix my already messy blonde hair into a somewhat presentable look, shooting a glare at Axel who poked his head into the room.

"Thank you, Mr. Strife." She smiled at me. She fucking _smiled_. And here I thought that this woman was incapable of doing such a thing. My feelings about her were flipping back and forth so much that I was confused on if I liked her or not, but it certainly seemed she was on my side. Maybe Axel just _did_ that to people. Pissed them off. I could definitely see it. I had only known the guy for a few hours and I wanted to claw his eyes out. Besides, she practically saved me from giving Axel a strip show so, naturally, I smiled back.

"You're welcome… uhm…" Okay, so I didn't really know her name. Trying to get in the good books without knowing her name was a bit of a stupid move, I'll admit.

"Mrs. Cockblock," came Axel's snarl as he pushed past her in order to sit back down on his bed. I shot a glare at him for what must've been the millionth time already, but the attendant didn't even flinch.

"You can call me Mrs. Hunt-"

"She means 'Cunt,' cutie, and she will soon be the bane of your existence. Trust me," Axel, oh so kindly, informed me again, flopping down onto his back and clasping his hands behind his head. Mrs. _Hunt_ merely rolled her eyes with a heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. I could tell she had to deal with kind of behaviour practically daily. Her black hair already had a few grey strands and the tired bags under her brown eyes were just an instant indicator that she dealt with this a lot.

"Axel, you can zone out as you normally do, but I need to tell your roommate the schedule, so _please _shut up." Bitter laughter filled the room and I watched all resolve and energy simply drain from Mrs. Hunt's face. Axel sat up again, the bed creaking as he did so.

"We wake up at seven, eat at eight. Then we go through little designated schedules based on each individual that depicts whether we'll be doing group therapy, normal therapy, free time, or whatever the fuck else they have planned, until twelve. Lunch. At one we continue on with our designated schedules. Mandatory group therapy at three, for _everyone_. Imagine how _fun_ that is. People crying and snivelling and yelling and bitching… Dinner at five. Free time from six 'til eight, which is when we get sent to our rooms, tucked in, and read a fairy tale. Lights out at nine. We do this for two months and then we will be _all _better! Right?" I blinked in confusion. I knew this would be his fifth time at the clinic, but I didn't expect him to memorize the schedule. I certainly didn't expect him to memorize the _times_, at least. I had to admit, I wasn't looking forward to all the therapy and doctoral shit I was going to have to do. I knew it had to be done, obviously, but I could already feel my heart pounding faster.

"Right. But your lights out can be now, Axel, if you're going to act like this," Mrs. Hunt stated flatly, not even trying to put up a fight with Axel anymore.

"Gladly," Axel hissed, already laying down on his side with the blankets pulled over his head. Mrs. Hunt must've picked up on my anxiety again because she gently touched my shoulder and smiled softly once more.

"You on the other hand are welcome to go to the activity room. Of course, you can always stay here as well."

Activity room it was.

I really did not expect anything special. Maybe a TV and some tables, but, I had to say, I was impressed. It wasn't amazing by any means, but, compared to what I imagined, it was pretty nice. The majority of the other people at the clinic were in there. Some were off just walking aimlessly and others grouped up for cards. The TV was already taken by a small group, which I had expected, and would most likely be taken for most of my stay, if not all of it. The small craft table in the corner kind of lowered my impression of the room, however. What was this? Kindergarten…?

I decided to read. Or try to. The room was a little on the noisy side, but it was certainly better than heading back to my room. Distancing myself from Axel allowed my mind to wander again. You know when you read a few pages of a book, but you don't really _read_ it? That was what kept happening to me. I'd read about ten pages, get completely lost, and have to start over. With my immediate threat not around, my other worries began to start up again. I accepted the fact that I had to do this, but stupid little things kept popping in my head.

What do I say in group therapy? Do I blurt it all out or do I just sit and listen? Do I have to talk? Will they put me on meds? What about one on one therapy? Do I talk more then? Can I talk about other things and not just drugs? What if I don't like the food? What if I can't sleep? What if I get sick? Will they still make me attend the day or do I get excused? Do I get visitors? Can I go outside? Do we all shower together!

I slammed my book shut and rubbed my temples as I rested my elbows on the table. It was close to eight now and the amount of people in the room had dwindled significantly. The TV was on some news station, the droning voices relaying horrific and sad stories almost put me to sleep at the table. It had been about two hours, at least. Axel was surely asleep by now, right? I decided I would take my chances, anyways. I could always scream my head off if he tried anything in order to get someone's attention. Maybe _then_ I could get a different roommate.

Axel was still asleep when I got in and I found myself releasing a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. Turning off the light, I quietly made my way over to my bed that was pushed against the wall. I was careful to silence the creaking as much as possible, so I didn't wake up Axel, as I tried to get comfortable, but that was proving to be next to impossible. The mattress was lumpy, pillow flat, blankets scratchy… First night and I was already desperately missing _my_ bed, _my _room, _my_ life… I knew I probably wasn't going to be able to sleep, but I thought that I might as well try. It was better than thinking at the moment. I wondered if they would administer sleeping pills to a bunch of people who suffered from drug addictions. I felt like I could definitely use one right now. If I asked tomorrow, would they give me one? Or would they put me under lockdown for trying to obtain drugs? I growled a little to myself, pushing the heels of my palms into my eyes, and sighed heavily. My brain was running around again, swimming with stupid questions that I shouldn't be worried about, but was.

_Sleep… Sleep… SLEEP._

How come when you know you _need_ to sleep, you can't? Even if you're tired? How do stupid thoughts, like the ones in my skull, keep people up, anyways? I rolled over onto my side to face the wall, pulling the covers up to my chin in a feeble attempt to get comfortable. My eyes definitely felt heavy, but I didn't feel like sleep would come anytime soon, not with this mattress, not with this roommate, not in this place. I rolled over again, slowly, the bed springs squealing underneath my weight. I grimaced, watching the lump on Axel's bed for any movement, relieved that he didn't even flinch. I silently thanked whoever was playing this sick joke on me chose to pair me up with someone who actually _didn't_ snore. I stared out the window after a moment of making sure Axel wasn't going to wake up and watched the stars twinkle outside. I began to count…

_1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7..._

…_74. 75. 76. 78. 79..._

I woke up to that annoying squeal from the mattress, opening my eyes finally when I realized that it was not my bed and the sound _wasn't_ stopping. "Shut up," I hissed, rolling my head to the side to face Axel's bed. It felt like I had just fallen asleep and that probable wasn't far from the truth. I already wasn't a morning person, but to pair that up with a shitty sleep being disturbed was a recipe for disaster.

"Fuck off, kid…" A hush voice snapped back through the darkness followed by a sniffle. "Fuck!" Axel blurted suddenly which startled me enough to cause me to jump. I saw his silhouette sit up slowly, his hair sticking up in all sorts of directions from sleeping on it.

"What's your problem?" I muttered after he released a few more strings of curses. Even if he was uncomfortable, he didn't have to voice it so vocally, especially when I was _trying_ to sleep. I heard Axel make a sound that sounded like a groan mixed with a growl, as though he was sick of hearing me talk already.

"Ever heard of _withdrawals_?" He shot back at me, making me feel a little bit stupid. Of course. Withdrawals. That made sense, I guess. I was trying to think back to my Drugs and Behaviour class I took when I was in university, scrambling to think of anything that had to do with heroin withdrawals.

Sweating, runny nose, trouble sleeping, muscle pain, agitation, anxiety…

Some of the symptoms seemed to fit the bill, at least. I sat up hesitantly, watching Axel hunch over and hold his head in his hands followed by a few low breaths. Watching him deal with this made me feel awkward, like I was supposed to help him some how, and I wasn't really looking forward to when the more advance stages of the withdrawal was going to start. By the looks of Axel, he wasn't either.

"Want me to get an attendant…?" I ventured cautiously, studying him for any outbursts he may have because now I wouldn't shut up. "They probably have some kind of medicine you can take, you know. To stop some of the symptoms?" A weak laugh sounded out from him as he kicked his blankets off of his legs with a deep sigh before returning to his hunched over position.

"I don't want that shit. Go to sleep." I barely heard him say anything, but did as he said even if I was little bitter about it. If he didn't want help, fine, but if he was going to keep me up all night with his cursing and tossing and turning I was going to force some pills down his fucking throat. He wasn't the only one in the room, after all. If he didn't want to take the drugs for his sanity, the least he could do was take them for _my_ sanity.

I rolled back over, pulling the pillow over my head and tried to get to sleep again.

He kept me up all night.

* * *

**A/N:** Hey, hello, people, Miss Hart here. I would like to take this time to just cover a few things, alright? I don't do drugs nor have I ever _done_ drugs. And, as such, I have never been to a rehabilitation clinic. I am basing the majority of the drug related things such as use and withdrawals as well as the time spent in the clinic around the experience my family has had. I am researching to the best of my ability, but I'm preferring to use the first hand experience I had witnessed and using their experiences in the clinics. Minus the creepy redhead and the boy-love-homo-ness, of course… Anyways, yes. So I am actually really sorry if this _does_ offend anyone because they have had a different experience with either the drugs or witnessing the use of the drugs mentioned. Everyone is different, so I am just basing it off what I know.

Jeez, this is going to be a long author's note… I also wanted to extend my apologies if this triggers anyone or makes them upset, etc. etc. It really is not my intention at all and if you would like a squish to my bosoms in lieu of an apology, I will definitely supply. Addiction of any kind is just as hard on the person as it is to the people who care for them. I know. I've been there. So, lots of love to you guys and keep strong! 3

FINALLY. Seeing as I haven't done any previous A/N I would just like to mention that this story is written when I have time and, because it is summer, I have a fair amount of time on my hands. There are already about fifteen chapters planned and that only takes us to the middle of the story. There is no set update schedule, but if I will not be updating for a long time or if I do, god forbid, decide to abandon this story I will be sure to let you know. I _hate not knowing what has happened to our beloved authors/stories! So, unless I die (please no!) I will keep you posted._

_Thanks for reading, loves! xoxo_


	4. Chapter Three

I had managed to fall asleep once the sun started to rise. Coincidentally, that was about the same time Axel calmed down enough to remain still, giving me some peace and quiet for the first time in hours. I think he managed to get to sleep as well, but he may have also just reached the point of exhaustion and passed out. Honestly, I really didn't care.

Trying to get to sleep was the fun part. Axel tossing and turning, swearing every now and then. I was growing increasingly frustrated with him because he kept turning down my offers to get one of the attendants, but gradually just chose to ignore him. I still felt bad, of course, because, even though I should pretend that he doesn't exist, it was harsh watching him go through his withdrawals. Especially knowing that he had to go through them four times prior at the clinic and god knows how many more before that. But I didn't have time to take pity on a guy I didn't even know…

In my attempts to ignore him, I was trying to formulate a plan. I was planning on starting my stay here with a positive outlook. Even though my anxiety insisted on creeping back when I wasn't distracted, I was going to attempt to treat each day like it was my everyday life. At least that way, if I could get in the mindset, it would be a bit easier on my brain who was still trying to process my predicament. Besides, it wasn't like I was going to be strapped to some table and cut open by an evil doctor. It was a rehab clinic that had hundreds of patients before me and they all turned out _relatively_ okay, I think. At least they had survived.

So the sun was rising, I had decided to have a better outlook on my situation, and Axel was finally quiet. I felt as though the day ahead of me was going to be off to a good start or at least and _okay_ one. I'd take 'okay' over 'shit' any day.

Remember how I mentioned Murphy's Law? And how that's pretty much sewn onto my flesh? Well…

My sleep wasn't a great one, hell, it wasn't even good, but it was still sleep. There were no dreams and the springs were digging into my back, but, hey, I was still asleep. I did not sleep much the day before, obviously. In fact, I didn't sleep much since I found out I would be attending rehab, so every second I spent with my eyes shut with my conscious blinking out of existence temporarily was a blessing. I cannot stress it enough. My body, at this point, literally _craved_ sleep and every minute I slept was like having a drop of water after being stuck out in the desert for years. Dreamless or not, it was _that_ good for my body and if it meant I wouldn't feel like a zombie anymore more, it was _great_ for me too.

Until I was woken up. I wasn't being shaken or poked or even yelled at, but waking up after having so little sleep and having a shitty night prior, it was still pretty fucking annoying. Have I mentioned that I'm just not a morning person? My plan on having a positive, sunny outlook completely exploded in a ball of flames and quickly left my mind. At the time, I didn't even feel nervous about being there, I felt angry. Maybe it was the fact that my sleep had been disturbed, or maybe it was simply because I wasn't as sweet and positive as my half-asleep self thought I was. What woke me up? An argument. At seven o'clock in the morning there were two _wonderful_ people bickering in my room. I opened my eyes and stared - _glared - _at the wall in front of me and quietly plotted their demise. My brain was still fuzzy and the voices and conversation didn't seem to make much sense, but it certainly managed to disturb me. I sighed a little when the pieces started to fall together, closing my eyes again in hopes to vanish into the mattress or maybe use their voices to lull me back to sleep.

It was Mrs. Hunt and Axel, naturally. How did I not know that even in my sleep deprived state? A silence filled the air that felt tense even though I still had no idea about what was going on. I heard heels click on the linoleum floor followed by what sounded like the blinds on the window being opened. From the hiss from Axel and red that flooded my eyelids, I figured my speculation was correct.

"Axel, please, get up," Mrs. Hunt's voice stated firmly and took on a scolding mother's tone. A quiet "fuck off" was the response making her sigh in frustration, her heels clicking on the floor again. "You are not the only one here who is not feeling well, you know. You need to eat just like the rest of them." Oh, god… The food… I could only imagine the horrors some greasy chef would cook up for us. My seemingly now permanent headache was acting up again making me pinch the bridge of my nose. Just listening to these two seemed to stress me out and I knew I'd have to deal with this for two months. Wasn't this place supposed to be calm and relaxing? "Breakfast is in an hour, Axel, I want you to be there." The clicking of the heels headed towards the door, stopping when Axel piped up.

"It tastes like shit." His voice was a lot softer than normal, the bite was missing from his words and there didn't seem to be much effort behind it. I rolled over, a part of me confused on why the redhead had such a sudden behaviour change and the other part actually curious. I squinted through the bright room, trying to get my eyes to focus on the bed across from mine. I could see Mrs. Hunt out of the corner of my eye, but Axel's bed just literally looked like a lump of blankets, the red spikes peeking over the top the only indication that Axel was actually there. I shifted my eyes over to Mrs. Hunt who glanced down at me briefly. Oh, man. You could tell that she did _not_ want to be here.

"Your body needs food to ge-"

"You didn't make me last time!" Axel's whine cut her off, sounding more like a six year old boy than the voice of a groan man. My headache pounded with each syllable. I groaned under my breath as I summoned enough strength to sit up. It was apparent that I would not be allowed to get back to sleep, but I definitely did not have to listen to these two argue for what could be hours. Hunt had a point, obviously, but if Axel didn't want to take care of his body, why bother? Let him rot. She was still doing her job either way, it was up to Axel if he would accept her help or not. I suppose not everyone had that mindset, but with this guy, it may have been your only chance to keep your sanity.

"Can I have a shower?" I asked suddenly, cutting off another round of bickering. Both of them fell quiet and Mrs. Hunt looked back at me, the frustration evident on her face even thought it wasn't directed at me. She waved her hand towards the door, sidestepping to let me out.

"Yes, yes. Just go. Tell the attendant by the door and she'll turn on the water," Mrs. Hunt stated distractedly, her attention quickly returning back to the 'lump' on the bed mid-sentence. I should have guessed I would have to deal with another attendant just to use the shower. I was praying that every time I had to take a piss I wouldn't have to sign forms and contracts and be run through security. At least I was able to get out of the room and have some time to myself. Provided I didn't have someone "help" me in the showers, making sure I wasn't up to anything suspicious or potentially damaging. Fuck it. At this point I didn't even care. I was too tired for any of that to cause an ounce of humiliation in me. I fled the room as soon as possible and wandered down the hall, following a sign's direction that was posted on the wall.

I could see that a few other people were up, either sitting in their beds or actually leaving their rooms. I felt out of place. Everyone seemed to have an almost green look to them, as if they were about to vomit any minute. Some were shaking, others groaning - the whole lot just looked like some kind of disease took over and managed to miss me. I wasn't really like them anyways, though, and, while I should've been glad for that, I hated sticking out like a sore thumb. There was no way any of the addicts noticed me not suffering from withdrawals in the state they were in, but it didn't make me feel any better. It was like being that one kid in high school who did something really embarrassing like puke all over their desk or had a video no one was supposed to see go viral. Everyone has felt like an outcast before and every single person can tell you that, no matter how glad you're not a part of the group you're being shunned from, it fucking sucks.

I probably hurried down the hall faster than I needed to, making myself look more paranoid than I really was. That was either a good thing, making me blend in, or made me seem even worse. It wasn't my fault that I seemed to be the only one who wanted a shower in the morning. The showers were probably communal anyways, why not go when no one else is around? I'm sure some people have no problem showering with a bunch of drug addicted, homeless people, but I definitely was not one of them. I pressed the small button beside the door that had a sign boldly stating "SHOWERS" and tried to peer through the window of the small attendant's booth that sat outside. It was surrounded by glass, to protect them I assumed, and it seemed to have lead to the front desk where a woman was sitting, flipping through a newspaper. I rolled my eyes when someone did not come after a few seconds, pressing the button again to release another buzzing sound.

I get it. There was no way that there was going to be a designated shower person, but I was pretty sure that the woman reading a _newspaper_ could help me for a brief minute. She glanced over at me and turned back to the paper. Was she fucking serious? I exhaled irritably, trying to calm myself - trying to keep my headache at bay - and knocked rather loudly on the window. She sighed as well, frustrated for whatever reason, and stood up and walked over to me.

"Don't knock on the glass," she scolded, tightening her ponytail and scowling at me through heavily mascaraed lashes. Really? I clenched my fists at my sides, biting the inside of my cheek as I tried to think of something to say that was a lot better than what I wanted to say. "Can I help you?" she practically sneered, looking at me like I was a piece of dirt or something. I released another breath and pushed my hair back, cringing to find it rather greasy. Judging by how it felt, I'm sure she could've seen what I needed help with.

"Can I have a shower?" I finally managed to ask, offering a brief smile to show her that I wasn't one of the other people here. That, yes, I was quite coherent and I could function just fine. As if she were copying me again, she sighed and plopped down into the office chair and began typing on the computer.

"Name?"

"Roxas." She turned her head back over to me, peering up at me like I was stupidest person she had ever met.

"_Last_ name."

"Strife…" I hissed, tasting blood in my mouth from the small wound I was slowly forming. I had to keep reminding myself that I wanted to get through here positively and relatively unnoticed. I really didn't need to get noticed by smashing the glass and yelling at the girl. She typed in my name on the computer and scanned through whatever was on the screen.

"You'll have to wait 'til tomorrow." I stood there dumbfounded, probably not making her impression of me any better. "Go to the cafeteria now and a wait for breakfast." She stood up from the chair and started to leave.

"Wait!" Could she not see how disgusting I looked right now? I'm not really some weird pretty boy or something, but I really just needed this time to myself. To clear my head and think. Besides, I felt revolting. All the panicked sweating the day before didn't really leave me feeling the best. Everyone knows, no matter how shitty you are feeling, that a shower brightens your day even a little. "_Why_?" I practically demanded the answer from her, knowing I sounded rude, but I really didn't give a shit right now. She was giving me attitude, I was going to give it to her right back. I watched her roll her eyes and sit back down in the chair, turning the computer screen towards me and tapping a pen against it.

_Requires Supervision: Undetermined._

"What does that mean?" I hissed through clenched teeth. I wanted to _shower_. Was that a crime here? Was it a requirement to be filthy?

"It means that you may or may not be a danger to yourself so we cannot leave you unsupervised in an area that does not have cameras," she stated matter-of-factly, rising from her seat again. I was baffled by that. I may have fucked up a few times, but I was never considered a threat to myself. I understand and feel bad for the people who are a threat to themselves, but I personally found it pointless. In fact, I was a little offended.

"_Excuse_ me?" I snapped suddenly, before she could turn her back on me again, "I'm not a threat to myself! What would I even do in there? Smash my head against the faucet!" She shrugged at that, her face remaining emotionless as she turned the screen back into the original position.

"It will be determined by tomorrow, after you talk with your doctor. If you feel that you need a shower you may wait until during your free time this evening and go in with one of the attendants." I couldn't believe this. I just wanted a shower. Especially now, after this. I just wanted to stand in some hot water and melt away from everything for a few moments. To let everything fall into place.

"Mrs. Hunt said-"

"_This _is what the computer says, Mr. Strife. Now, go to the cafeteria or I will call someone to escort you there," she cut me off bitterly, narrowing her eyes at "the unruly patient" and waited for my response. I really wanted to fight back. I really did. I wanted nothing more than to break down those shower doors and barricade myself in there. But, I walked away. Angrily mind you, but I still walked away. It was a little difficult, but I was trying to remind myself to pick my battles. Some ditz at the front counter wasn't really a battle in my books. I'd just have to wait until tomorrow. There was no way in hell I was going to be diagnosed as a danger to myself.

Breakfast was just as I was expecting it to be. We were given vitamins in these small Dixie cups, accompanied with our choice of orange juice or skimmed milk, something that vaguely resembled oatmeal, and either a banana or some soft looking cantaloupe. I chose orange juice and the banana and carried my obnoxiously bright orange tray over to a secluded table at the far end of the cafeteria. Hey, I wasn't here to make friends. Anyways, I couldn't even stomach looking at my own food, I didn't want to be surrounded by more.

My oatmeal, if it could be called that, looked like it could have possibly been alive or could _be_ alive. I finally got up the nerve to taste it having watched a few people being scolded and lectured by the various attendants wandering between the tables. I knew they, for the most part, wanted to help us, but the constant mothering was suffocating. I didn't want to deal with it. I had my own mother at home, probably fretting over me at this very moment, so I really didn't need more. The oatmeal, for the record, didn't have much of a taste to it, but it at least had the consistency of oatmeal. It was instantly better than hospital food where, as we all know, everything tastes like death on a stick and looks even worse. At least the stuff here was edible. Not enjoyable, but edible. That was good enough for me. It sounds completely moronic, but it was a small comfort knowing that I wouldn't be vomiting after every meal here.

About halfway through breakfast, my mind wandered back to this morning and to the little argument Axel was having with Mrs. Hunt. I had no idea how long the two were at it before I woke up and, for all I knew, they both could still be at it right now. As if she were reading my thoughts, Mrs. Hunt came stomping into the cafeteria and I assumed the two were finished, but she merely grabbed a banana and stormed back out in the direction of our rooms. Either she was hungry or Axel was going to get that fruit shoved somewhere very unpleasant if he didn't eat it. I chuckled a little at the thought and shook my head, returning to my lumpy meal before me. At least he'd get what's coming.

* * *

_Why_ was I here…? I stared down at the massive sheet in front of me which held a rough outline of a human body on it. _Why was I here!_ Markers were scattered around the floor between me and other rehab members who were busily working on their papers before them. Group therapy…

After breakfast, we were basically told the gist of our schedules and where we would find our daily ones. I was learning quickly that at least we would not be spending our whole time in therapy, but rather doing a lot of activities. It was a way to get us distracted or find something else to channel our energy into rather than doing drugs. And I fucking hated it. I get that this shit could be helpful, introduce people to new hobbies or use activities to relieve stress, but seriously… How was drawing our emotions into a generic outline of a body supposed to help right now…?

Our overly enthusiastic group leader was some guy who insisted we just call him Bob, which, oddly enough, was fitting because he really seemed to look like Bob Ross, that afro painter guy. Apparently, this would be a weekly exercise to show how much we have changed over the course of our stay. I couldn't even draw anything right now, I couldn't imagine attempting the same thing every fucking week. "How do you _feel_? Do you feel sad? Are you empty? Draw it! Express yourself!" Bob encouraged as he walked around the room. I stared at the green marker in my hand, willing it to just draw something for me, anything. "Are you happy? Are you proud of yourself!" his voice boomed again, reeking of cheerful enthusiasm. "We don't need pictures. Lines, scribbles, whatever you feel like! This is you and no one can tell you who you are!" I looked around the room again, watching Bob applaud some of the people for their efforts even if they were just stabbing angrily at the paper. In fact, he was cheering those ones on. "Let your anger out! Rip the paper! Destroy it! Don't let the anger get to _you_!" A loud rip sounded from a few people who happened too rip their papers in half, causing Bob to cheer. This was a fucking mad house, not a rehab center. Kill me.

I carried on through the day with pretty much the same vacant, borderline mortified, expression. Group therapy lasted a few hours after that awkward art exercise and a lot of people seemed really into sharing their stories and Bob was more than thrilled that they wanted to. He didn't force us at least, so I had to give him some props for that. That whole thing carried on for _four_ hours. I learnt that not all the patients needed to show up for this one, some of them had their one on one therapy at this time and would get free time for the remainder. It would rotate in that fashion and I was actually excited for when my turn would be to miss out on this thing twice a week. Lunch was about the same as breakfast, edible, but no where near satisfying. At one I was learning coping tactics to avoid relapse, at two I met with my therapist who was a soft spoken old lady (and who assured me that I would be getting my showers), and at three I was back in Bob's excruciatingly happy grip for the mandatory group therapy everyone seemed to have attended, except for Axel who had been missing all day. Finally, dinner. After dinner I completely ignored the whole free time I had from six to eight and just went straight to my room. I needed sleep. I felt that the day was a little hectic and, not going to lie, unbearably childish, but my anxiety managed to leave halfway through. The only problem I was going to have was actually participating in these little fun filled activities, but other than that, I felt like I could stomach two months of this.

Axel seemed to be asleep already or was _still_ asleep, but he was hiding under his blankets again so I wasn't sure. Either way, he didn't say anything to me and I was grateful for that. My body felt like lead and I didn't even care about the shitty mattress I had to endure. Going to sleep was a lot easier this time. Staying asleep, yet again, proved to be a problem.

I jolted awake at, what I assumed to be, at least one in the morning. There was a horrible retching sound followed by some cursing. I quickly looked over, seeing Axel vomiting into a bucket with Mrs. Hunt sitting on the bed beside him. They were kind enough to at least turn on a lamp instead of the actual lights, but, unfortunately, it wasn't the lights that woke me. The thought was nice...

"Jesus fuckin' Christ…" Axel groaned, hunching over and heaving into the bucket again. I was slightly horrified. I knew nausea and vomiting were a symptom of the withdrawals, but he sounded fucking horrible. Not to mention I woke up nearly with a heart attack because of him. Mrs. Hunt looked over at me and turned her attention back to Axel.

"Come on, Axel. Let's go to the washroom so Mr. Strife can get back to sleep," Mrs. Hunt softly stated, sighing when Axel growled, but heaved again and began coughing.

"Does it _look_ like I want to fucking _move_ right now?" he hissed, his voice strained, as he spat into the bucket. "He can just ignore me if he wants to sleep…"

I rolled my eyes at that and turned my back to them, sandwiching my head between my pillow. Even when sick he was a fucking asshole. After a few minutes of bickering, of course, and bouts of "Don't fucking touch me!" and other offensive phrases, the two managed to leave the room. The shitty sleep before made falling asleep again a hell of a lot easier and I was out almost instantly.

* * *

"Where do you want our date to be?" I stirred a little, feeling something make the bed dip and the springs creak. I practically jumped out of my skin when I realized Axel was draped across the end of my bed, jolting to the sitting position.

"What the fuck are you doing!" I snapped, trying to calm down my heart from its second near heart attack. I darted my eyes to the clock. Three in the fucking morning. Really? Oh my god, I wanted to kill him.

"Our date?" Axel whispered, his eyes closed with his eyebrows knitted together. He still looked sickly and I was internally begging him not to puke on my bed. Just because he was still awake didn't mean he had to wake me as well!

"What fucking date? There _is_ no date!" I practically squeaked, tempted to kick him off, but decided against it in case he exploded and shot puke everywhere.

"Fucking humour me!" Axel snapped back, catching me off guard at how blunt he was. He groaned a little and put his hand over his eyes. "What the fuck's your name, anyways? Unless you prefer 'cutie.'" This guy was fucking mental.

"I'm going to sleep."

"You're not being a very good roommate," he teased, even though he sounded absolutely exhausted. I just wanted to sleep. Why didn't _he_ want to sleep? Why did _he_ have to bug me? Why didn't I have another roommate?

"It's Roxas." Why did I tell him! I laid back down, turning onto my side and curling my feet up to avoid touching Axel.

"Roxasssss…" he hissed the 'S' and then chuckled to himself, even though I didn't know what was so funny. I didn't think he did either. "I like that name."

"That's great," I muttered back, trying to pull the blankets up that Axel had pinned under him. He laughed again and sighed quietly.

"You're so negative. Don't you like it here?" Axel whispered again, but I made the question rhetorical and tried to get back to sleep. I knew it wouldn't happen, but it was worth a shot. "You didn't get sick… You're not an addict, huh?" I remained silent still, hoping he would just tire himself out. Aerith's words rung in my head again; _You're here for yourself, not to make friends_. I felt Axel roll over and stare at me, much like how he'd been staring when we first met. I looked back at him and my mouth grew dry at how bright his eyes looked in the dark room, almost like a cat's. "See something you like…?"

"Fuck off." I could feel my face heat up and was thankful that the dark room would hide it, but Axel laughed anyways at my embarrassment. Okay, so I was staring a bit, but that was because of his freakishly unnatural eyes, not because they looked nice or anything. "Can I please just go to sleep…?" I asked finally, practically whining. I felt utterly defeated right now and I just didn't have the energy to argue with him.

"After you answer me. Why are you here if you aren't addicted?" It really wasn't his business, but I was willing to do anything to get him to leave me alone. Regardless, I still hesitated. It's not like it was anything _bad_, but I didn't need to hit anymore speed bumps along my "road to recovery." "I'm not gunna tell or nothing.' We're roomies! Aren't we supposed to know the best and the worst of each other?" Axel stated as if he could pick up on my hesitation. He kind of had a point and I really couldn't see him dashing off down the hall to rat me out to the people he obviously despised.

"I'm not an addict," I sighed out finally, sitting up to face Axel instead of laying down. I had to look away from the eyes staring back at me intently so I wouldn't lose my track of thought. "I'm just here to keep up appearances because of a little mistake. My mom's a respected lawyer and my dad's a respected lawyer and they live in this big house and spend their money on anything they really want. They're not celebrities or anything, obviously, but when you have that kind of money, you need to be careful around your circle of friends. One fuck up and your social standing is obliterated, suddenly no one wants you to take their cases, then you lose your job…"

"Sounds like high school," Axel snorted, causing me to scoff and nod. It was true. All of the fancy little soirées my parents would throw sounded as though a bunch of teenaged girls were running the party with all the gossip and rumours. My parents never participated too much in the gossip, but they avoided stepping on anyone's toes to keep their standing.

"Anyways, I do drugs the odd time, mostly just pot if anything, but I happened to get caught with coke one night. My friend's coke, but, as you can imagine, telling the cops that I was holding it for a friend didn't go over too well. It wasn't really even the coke that got me in trouble, it was a drunk fucking fight that did. The guy who started the whole thing called the cops on me and charged for assault or whatever and got me in shit. He was charged as well, but he wasn't the one with drugs on his person," I paused and shook my head, flopping backwards on the bed. "I'm twenty-one, was living on my own, but my parents were still pissed. Long story short, to save you all the court bullshit, I was going to land some time in jail. I really didn't want to spend time in there."

"I wouldn't either if I had a cute ass like yours," Axel commented offhandedly, dodging my foot that I shot out to boot him. "I'm kidding! Jesus!"

"_As I was saying_," I seethed, rolling my eyes, "having a brawling druggy of a son is like a black mark on your permanent record for my family. They would rather have an addicted, troubled son who desperately wanted help and acted out to get it. So, my dad, the one who represented me, some how wormed me into rehab. Having a son that goes to rehab still isn't the greatest, but I'm sure they could play the sympathy card well enough." My parents really do love me, but they also loved their social standing. Anyways, it was easier on me in the long run. I still had a record of course, but it was a lot better than showing that I spent time in jail, no matter how short the duration. "I have some 'parole officer,' assigned to me now, but she's a family friend so it's not too bad. I'm not really on parole or probation or whatever, she's more like a babysitter - going through the motions of her job for the court, but not actually doing it. I'm not _really_ an addict anyways, so it's just for looks again." Axel let out a low whistle when I finished and sat up to face me a bit better.

"So, I rich boy got in trouble with the law and mommy and daddy got him off the hook?" he asked, his grin painfully evident even through the dark. I scowled at him, wishing it really was that black and white and didn't put any strain on my family. Dad didn't really talk to me much and mom was always breathing down my neck now. I _wish_ I just had to go to rehab and everything would be fine.

"What about you?" I asked suddenly, glaring into the green eyes after he stood up from my bed. Axel heaved a dramatic sigh and headed over to his bed, lying down and pulling the blankets over him. It was only fair, after all, if I told him my story, he could tell me his. After downplaying mine, I totally wanted to rip his 'sob story' to shreds now.

"I just met you!" he announced finally, a grin hiding in his voice, "I can't just spill my guts out to you. You might blackmail me, stranger."

"You're a dick."

* * *

**A/N:** Hey. This took a little longer because I kept writing ahead instead of this chapter! AH! I just want to clarify something because I'm not sure how many people understand it. I have GAD (General Anxiety Disorder) and, while Roxas does not have it, there are many parts where his anxiety definitely acts up and then seems to vanish. Just as the rest of this story, I'm basing a lot of things off of my experiences. Roxas' anxiety is based off of mine - when I'm distracted it leaves, when I'm alone it returns, when something new happens it can start up again, etc. etc. When I try to voice my thoughts (such as Roxas attempting to make a plan on how to survive this place, where he doesn't belong) it sounds like a jumbled mess that jumps from thing to thing. Positive, negative, flawless, failing, "This'll totally work!," "Why the hell am I doing this!" I'm trying to make Roxas' thoughts a lot clearer than what mine would be, but still keep the kind of irrational mess. So, it may be a little confusing for those who do not have anxiety and also because this story isn't based on anxiety, so it doesn't go into a lot of detail.

By the way, I was totally that kid who puked on her desk. :I Love me.


	5. Chapter Four

Two weeks went by a lot faster than I had originally anticipated. The days were still slowly creeping by, but they were slowly creeping by a hell of a lot quicker than I first thought they would. Unfortunately, and regrettably, I think I had Axel to thank for that. Of course, I'd never tell him that I was grateful that he had made my time go by that much faster. He'd let it go to his head much like everything else did.

After the night when I had woke up because of Axel's vomiting fest, he began attending all the therapy and activities we had to do. Of course, Mrs. Hunt practically had to force him from his bed the first few days, but he attended nevertheless. He, unfortunately and for some reason, stuck to me like glue and, when we were separated, he always managed to find me instantly after. There were little to no hiding places in the centre, so avoiding him wasn't really an option. Eventually I just gave up and accepted his presence. Begrudgingly. When asked why he didn't go bother someone else, someone he had things in _common _with, he'd simply shrug and say, "You're more interesting." Whatever that meant.

He still drove me insane. He still teased me, but it was the flirting that really pissed me off. He'd still go on and on about our date that I had yet to agree to and still dropped lame little pickup lines as if picking people up in a rehab centre was the same as picking someone up in a club. He was hot, I'd give him that much, but I still had standards. I shot him down or ignored him every time, but he still persisted and still chose to be around me.

I had learnt quickly that Axel saw people as a game and, once you stopped responding, he grew bored. He was like a cat playing with a bird - toying with it until it was clinging to its last breath. When the bird finally dies, the cat eventually carries on with its life. Ignoring people who are giving you a hard time is something most of us learn in elementary school, but it doesn't always work… Trying to ignore Axel is like trying to ignore a mosquito. You know the ones. The one that flies right by your ear at night when you're trying to sleep. The one you can hear, but can't see. The one that for some God awful reason always manages to evade the rolled up newspaper. The problem with Axel, though, was that there were no newspapers big enough to swat him with. So, I merely endured.

I found that not playing his games was a lot easier said than done, but I was getting better. I tried my past to stop responding. Unfortunately, unlike the other people who learnt to ignore Axel, I wasn't left alone. I knew he already pretty much wanted to fuck me or whatever he had in his head, but even the most persistant guys had their limits. It was a matter of time before he'd crack and just give up. I simply just had to wait it out.

I want to make it clear that I didn't just _abandon _my plans of getting through this alone. I didn't just accept Axel into my life with open arms. I still yelled at him, ignored him, and stormed away from him most of time, but sometimes I accepted his company. I wasn't really allowed to see anyone for the two months outside of the clinic and, as antisocial as I was, it was pretty fucking lonely. I think Axel really felt the same way and I took pity on that. When he kept his mouth shut, he was surprisingly fine to be around. I don't think Mrs. Hunt was too pleased with the company I decided to keep, but she remained silent about it regardless.

Having someone to talk to wasn't just only the benefit of having Axel around, watching him drive some of the staff up the walls tended to be rather hilarious as well. The withdrawals still made him irritable, never towards me oddly enough, and he liked to take it out on the staff. I get that they were just doing their jobs, but, seriously, some of the things were just… maddening. Axel agreed.

* * *

Even though Axel _still_ had no idea what personal boundaries were, when you got past everything that makes Axel Axel, he's really not too bad. Annoying as fuck, yes, but not bad. At least he's entertaining.-"Stop it!" I hissed, as I swatted Axel's hand away from the blank body I had, yet again, lying before me. He had taken the liberty of drawing a dick on mine, like the mature adult he was, and returned to his. I felt like I was in a horrid mix of preschool, drawing my feelings, and high school, having an immature prick sitting beside me on the floor. I kept my mouth shut around most of Axel's antics because I found some of them amusing, such as toying with the staff, or because I didn't want to encourage him, but I still didn't want to exactly get in trouble. A giant dick on my drawing probably wouldn't send the "I'm taking this seriously" message I was trying my damndest to give off.

"I haven't seen it yet, you know. I mean, I've tried to sneak glances when you change, but you're fast for a little guy," Axel said back without missing a beat, grinning as he turned back to his paper, "And I like visuals!" I blushed at that, as I usually did, and shook my head as I scribbled over his crude drawing. No matter how many times Axel had use some sexual related slurs on me, I always felt uncomfortable. Talking about my nether regions like we were talking about the weather was something that still didn't sit well with me. I'm not exactly a prude, but I really didn't even know the guy. The fact that he was trying to be a peeping tom was just… Ugh…

Anyways. I still wasn't really _feeling_ this exercise. My body was still blank, save for the scribbled out dick, but Axel's body was already on its way of being filled, thus the reason why he assumed he could start working on mine, I suppose. He was bitching and moaning about this exercise since we had started, stating that he had done this already about four times before and he was absolutely _sick_ of it.

"This isn't a biology class, Axel," Bob called over, staring at the poorly drawn, but obvious organs and innards Axel had put into his body, "What are you _feeling_?" I smirked a little, honestly surprised that Bob still didn't seem to understand that Axel didn't really cooperate with these types of things. You think he'd know by now. Bob was just about the only staff member at Radiant Gardens who still had faith in Axel. Axel thought the man was just stoned all the time.

"I _feel_ like I have organs in me," Axel responded flatly. From having Axel hang around me almost constantly the past two weeks, I was learning to tell the difference between Axel driving the staff insane because he was bored and defiant and when he was driving the staff insane because he was honestly pissed off. This was one of those "pissed off" times. His moods changed drastically, most likely from the lingering withdrawals, and it was almost frightening to see how quickly he could go from joking and teasing to utter rage. I tried my best not to piss him off after watching his outburst in the cafeteria when he didn't want to eat the soup they were serving. If something like that could set him off, I really didn't want to see what would happen if I didn't watch my tongue around him at times.

"Axel," Bob began, his voice still cheery, but a tense tone was lying underneath it, strained from the impending behaviour he knew he was going to receive, "if you are upset about this exercise, _draw_ it. Scribble on the page! Let the anger out! Take what you are feeling inside and draw it on there!"

"Oh!" Axel feigned enlightenment, widening his eyes as he stared up at Bob, "I can like… draw clouds and suns and shit if I'm happy then?" Bob's eyes sparkled a little as he nodded his head enthusiastically. Such hope for the red head… I almost felt bad for Bob, knowing that Axel was about to smash his childlike dreams as he had many times before.

"Exactly, Axel! You can draw whatever you wa- What are you drawing!?" Bob exclaimed, tossing his hands up in the air with an exasperated sigh. I glanced at Axel's paper and snorted back a laugh. Much like on mine, he drew a dick on his, emphasizing that it was erect with some little arrows. I was able to live out my internal rebellion through Axel and watching him act out gave me some relief without the consequences. I knew Axel needed the treatment a lot more than I did, but still… It was nice having someone speak their mind.

"I feel _horny_, Bob," Axel whispered, breaking out into a mischievous grin and stood up, dusting himself off. "I haven't gotten laid since I've been here. Blondie won't put out and everyone else is still riding out their withdrawals." My joy fell at that comment and I glared at the redhead with a sigh. Bob mimicked me and sighed as well, shaking his head and pinching the bridge of his nose. "I know, I know. I'll go to my room for the remainder. I'll even tell Mrs. Cunt for you," Axel announced, waving goodbye at me and walking away. Bob quickly scooped up the paper Axel had left on the floor and rolled it up, massaging his temples after.

* * *

There were more benefits about having Axel hang around me other than entertainment. I didn't have to do a lot of the activities because the staff was so sick and tired of arguing with the redhead. Sports, thank God, happened to be the activity both of us hated. The staff eventually just let us sit under a tree outside if we promised to write at least one page into these little journals they gave us. Another expressing exercise, but I found it a lot better than drawing hearts and shit into a picture that looked like a chalk outline from a crime scene. Axel still didn't bother writing when I did and opted to lay on the grass, plucking it out to build a small pile or a nest of some sort."What are your hobbies?" Axel asked me randomly, still plucking at the grass as he watched the others play soccer. I looked up from my writing to look over at him and quirked my eyebrow at the oddly normal sounding question Axel had asked, turning back to the journal. I was bracing myself for some kind of twist, but decided to answer anyways.

"I don't know. Play video games, paint… Nothing really," I mumbled, jumping when Axel sat up quickly to look at me excitedly.

"Bullshit nothing! You paint!?" I nodded my head dumbly, unsure on why Axel was so excited about it. "Shit. I never met an artist before," Axel mumbled, still grinning at me. "I mean, I knew people who would go around tagging stuff with some spray paint, but it was really just their initials and nothing fancy at all. You any good?" Not to be cocky, but I nodded my head.

Art was a big passion of mine and it was obvious from when I was little. I was always drawing and, as I got older, I began branching out into other areas such as charcoal, painting, etc. That was kind of the reason why I hated Bob's weekly exercise. I already knew being artistic allowed me to vent, but I didn't really like having myself limited to an outline of a body. I wanted a canvas and some paints. I wanted charcoal. I wanted to draw people or some scenery, not random marks. My art had already been sold in small local gallery showings, I had more than enough glowing references to prestigious art schools from my teachers, and I've even had the odd person commission me already in my short life of twenty one years. I wasn't the best artist out there, but, yes, I definitely was good.

"Gonna paint me one day?" Axel asked, batting his eyelashes at me as he plopped back down into a "paint me like one of your French girls" pose. I scoffed at him and shook my head, returning back to my journal. I knew he was going to twist this some how.

"Probably not. I'm not going to have time for painting soon," I muttered, slamming the journal shut with a bitter sigh. Axel sat up again, picking up on the tone of my voice and frowned.

"Why not? Don't you like it…?" I nodded my head again. Of course I liked it. I _loved_ it. I already have that annoying hipster look going on, but my passion for art was probably bordering on unhealthy. I'd obsess over the work in cartoons, stare at the colours in random paintings at people's houses, inspect sculptures. Everything about it simply fascinated me. Authors escaped through writing, I escaped through painting.

"So, make time for it," Axel added flatly, raising his eyebrow. Sometimes I envied how black and white he made everything seem to be. I wish things were that easy.

"Well, for one thing, we don't exactly have an artistic community here. There won't be enough people to buy my work. Painting's a dying art form," I began, frowning when Axel rolled his eyes.

"So move. Seriously, go to New York or something! It's worth a shot. And what do you mean about a dying art form? That Van Gogh guy is dead and he's still selling shit!"

"First off, Van Gogh sold _one_ painting when he was alive. Secondly, I can't just _move_, Axel. I don't know what you think, but most people just can't pack up and leave," I snapped, avoiding eye contact by looking at the others playing soccer now. I could tell Axel was obviously displeased with my answer, but what was I supposed to say? "Okay, sure! I'll move!" It didn't work like that. It never did. Especially not in my family when you have so much expected of you. Silence fell over us for awhile. Axel shifted to sit beside me, leaning back against the tree as well to watch the others. A wave of guilt washed over me for snapping at him, but what I had said was true. He needed to realize that life wasn't all rainbows. Besides, what _did_ he know? He was a drug addict who was spending his fifth time in rehab. "People have lives and family. Friends and… jobs…" I waved my head dismissively, still not looking at him. Silence engulfed us slowly, the sound of the ball being kicked around the only thing preventing total quiet.

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose," Axel broke the silence finally, grinning a little when I turned to him with a confused expression on my face.

"Did you just try to motivate me with Dr. Seuss?" I asked bewildered. Was this guy serious? Axel shrugged and grinned at me.

"Did it work…?" I scoffed, but found myself smirking at the stupid grin Axel still held. Ridiculous. "Seriously, though," Axel began after a moment, his grin leaving his face and his voice taking on a rare serious tone, "The only person keeping you here is yourself."

I was probably overreacting, but I instantly felt pissed off at him. It was as if nothing was getting through his thick skull. Having Axel tell me yet another blatantly obvious thing really rubbed me the wrong way. Aside from what I had told him, he hardly knew a thing about me, yet kept insisting upon his little world of gumdrops and rainbows. I glared a little at the grass below me and stood up without a word, stalking off and away from Axel. For once he didn't follow me.

Granted, the anger was more geared toward everyone else, even though I was sick of Axel's whimsical theories. My parents were pretty much lining up my future with their firms, my university was setting up my courses, and these therapists here were always giving me little goals to complete. What about what _I_ wanted? It was growing tiresome, being tossed around like a child opposed to a twenty-one year old, and I really didn't need some drug addicted redhead giving me advice via a children's author.

I chose to skip the rest of the activities, not wanting to see Axel, not wanting to see _anyone_. I opted to spend the rest of the day in my room, in my bed, drifting in and out of sleep. At this point I didn't care that I was personally throwing myself a pity party. Two weeks and I was already done with the know-it-alls, done with the nosey redhead. I was pissed off because I wanted out of here, but, more importantly, I was pissed off because deep down I knew Axel was right.

I ignored him when he finally came into our room and he ignored me right back, which I was honestly okay with. Maybe I could just go back to my original plan and Axel could go find someone else to piss off. I was hoping he finally got the hint that I wanted to be left alone - that I was done with his little games.

"I was thinking the beach." I opened my eyes when Axel flicked on the lamp and sat up a few minutes after lights out. "For our date."

"There is no date," I hissed for what felt like the billionth time in two weeks. Axel ignored me as he usually did.

"There's always the zoo…" He pointed out, trailing off as if he actually had a brain to ponder the _many _exciting date ideas.

"There is not _date_," I snapped, sitting up as well to glare at him through the dim light.

"Or we can be cliché and go to the movies or something."

"Axel…" I warned, wishing that looks could indeed kill. He was looking back at me with a straight face instead of his dorky grin, which was a little unnerving. I glared back regardless, just _daring_ him to speak again.

"If it's dead, I can suc-" I threw my pillow at his face, standing up now. I would've preferred to throw the lamp on my nightstand, hell, I would've preferred an axe, but I was still trying to keep a low profile in the centre. He pulled the pillow down, smiling mischievously up at me.

"I sincerely hope you're not serious about this whole 'date' think, _Axel_, because there is. No. _Date_." His grin dropped, not in disappointment, as he stood up as well, stepping over to me. I hated how tall he was, towering over me, far too close for comfort, but I continued to glare back at him. There was no way in hell I was going to back down to him.

"Of course I'm fuckin' serious." I rolled my eyes and turned away from him, growling like some kind of feral animal when I felt him grip my upper arm to spin me back around. "I'm going to have _no one_ when I get of here, blondie. I have no family, I can't very well go back to my old friends and-"

"It's not my problem," I snapped, cutting him off as I attempted to pull my arm back. He looked up in exasperation, yanking me closer so we were practically face-to-face.

"_And_," he continued, his voice low and somewhat threatening, "I think you need something or some_one_ a little different in your life too or we're going to find you swinging from the rafters a couple of years down the road because you've done yourself in using daddy's hand-me-down tie." He left go of my arm quickly, pushing me back a little which caused me to stumble.

I felt the blood drain from my face at those words and found myself frozen to the spot. I'd be the first to admit that my life was nowhere near horrible, but suicide was always in the back of my mind. I planned numerous different ways and, even though I wasn't planning on doing it any time soon, I always figured that it would be the way my life would end. It would be an escape more than anything, from the life I was forced into. A way to get a breath of fresh air. I felt numb, this time, instead of pissed that Axel had hit the nail on the head.

"You're boring, you know that?" I blinked dumbly a few times before looking up at Axel in confusion. He just attempted to predict my future and now he was telling me I was boring.

"What…?" I whispered before thinking of something more intelligent to say. He nodded his head, the serious expression that did not suit him never failing.

"Aside from being a little pissy, there's not much else to ya. Boring." I watched as Axel yawned and stretched, still trying to figure out where the hell this topic change came from. Then, to my horror, my body decided to switch on auto pilot. I felt like I was having and outer body experience, watching myself do something I was pretty sure I didn't want to do. The next thing I knew, I was fisting Axel's shirt and yanking him down so I could shut up his cocky mouth with my own. I felt a bit of pride when Axel tensed up against me in chock and confusion and I took that as an opportunity to deepen the kiss. His lips were surprisingly warm, his whole body was, and I almost had to fight myself to pull back before Axel was able to respond. I pulled back and turned off the lamp to prevent the still stunned Axel from seeing my reddened face.

_Why did I do that…?_

"I don't put out on the first date, you know?" I muttered, heading over to my bed to lie back down.

_Why did I _say_ that!?_

I heard Axel finally snap back to consciousness as he returned to his bed. "Of course not… That'd be boring of you." I could hear the teasing tone returning to his voice, but it didn't irritate me this time. In fact, I smirked a little at my small victory of Axel having to eat his words.

"And it's still not a date," I decided to remind him, rolling over to face the wall now, pulling the blankets up. "We're just going to hang out like normal people."

"Whatever you say." Silence filled the room again, naturally being broken by my roommate who would not shut up, even for a moment. "Do you want to prove me wrong again?"

"Go to bed."


	6. Chapter Five

"Four weeks left…" I glanced up from the sketch I was doing in my journal. Axel had moved his position on his bed for about the hundredth time causing me to restart my drawing for about the hundredth time as well. I let out a quiet, frustrated breath, even though Axel had absolutely no idea that I was drawing him. And he _never_ would. I flipped my page, studying Axel's new position which consisted of him hanging his head upside down off of the edge of his bed. I lowered my vision back to my paper and started anew.

There were indeed four weeks left and Axel made sure to announce that fact every few minutes. It was obvious he was getting restless with this place, we all were, but Axel especially seemed to have a vendetta against it. I had eased up around him practically right after I showed him how "not boring" I was - I had to. The thought of him holding his victory of proving me wrong was worse than putting up with him. Besides, as I said, his company had its perks and, god help me, he wasn't bad to look at either. So his weird little issue against the place and how bothered he was by it kept me a little on edge. He was the closest I had to a friend in this clinic, so it was a little nerve wracking not knowing whether or not he was going to have a stress related breakdown.

He was still an ass, though.

"I know," I finally responded, feeling his eyes on me as I normally did. My face heated up, as it was starting to do every time he stared at me now. His stare was so intense, I highly doubted he had the ability to sneak up on anyone. You could feel it from a mile away. "You said this already." Axel scoffed and sat up, laying down on his side to look at me a bit better. Sigh. Scrap sketch. Start over.

"I just can't wait to finally wave goodbye to this shit hole once and for all." I snorted at that before I had a chance to stop myself. Axel was growing on me, sure, but I still didn't see this relationship extending too far out of rehab. I definitely didn't want him to get hooked on drugs again, but with the fact that he was spending his fifth time in the clinic was hanging over his head. Statistically, the odds were against him. "You don't think I can do it?" He asked, eyebrows raised. His voice wasn't hurt, shocked, or anything like that. He seemed genuinely curious about my opinion. I shrugged.

"The five times are playing against you, but anything's possible I guess." Axel sat up again after a moment. Scrap. Start over.

"Man, I'm fuckin' serious. I am _never_ coming back here. I hate it," his voice dropped a little as he played with his fingers in his lap distractedly. "Don't really care if I become an addict again, I'm not coming back." I rolled my eyes at his pessimistic and stubborn attitude, drawing his eyes again which were now downcast.

"Maybe if you cooperated…"

"Maybe if they _listened_," Axel retorted, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose stressfully. He waved me off when I looked up at him quizzically. "They do it for the money, Rox. Not to help. They butt into people's lives to fuck shit up and create a vicious cycle that keeps bringing them back. I'd rather be surrounded by a bunch of addicts who accept me for who I am than a bunch of judgemental fucks who see me as a pay check."

"Axel," I mumbled after a few moments of silence, trying to select my words carefully. I was seriously considering that this was another one of his weird conspiracy theories brought on by the paranoia from the years of drug abuse. "What on _earth_ are you talking about? They fuck _what_ up?" Axel seemed to snap out of his thoughts and looked up at me with almost a stunned expression. Almost like he hadn't realized he was speaking or that he had voiced his opinion. It was almost concerning.

"Nothing…" He reached over a flicked off his lamp, laying down again to roll over. "Cunt's going to come in in a few seconds." I nodded my head in understanding, shutting my journal and putting it between the wall and my bed, flicking my lamp off as well. Just as Axel had said, Mrs. Hunt opened the door and poked her head in to check on us. Once she was satisfied, she closed the door and Axel flicked the lamp back on. "What are you doing when you get out of here…?" He asked me softly and I had a feeling it wasn't because of the fact that Mrs. Hunt was just down the hall. Axel had an arm tucked under his head and was staring at the ground, facing towards me, but not looking up at me. There was some kind of emotion bubbling just beneath the surface, but I wasn't able to place my finger on it.

I shrugged my shoulders slowly and mimicked his position. "I dunno," I paused in thought. I honestly didn't know what I was going to do once I was out of here. I hadn't really had any contact with Aerith or my parents since I went into the clinic, so my fate was sort of in their hands at the moment. "I won't have my job and my mom was saying how she wanted me to put off getting another one so I can get my life 'back on track.' Of course, she also wants me to live at home while I do that too. That'll be great…" Axel smirked a little at me, finally looking up.

"I knew you had daddy issues or some shit like that, but is it _really_ that bad?" I scoffed and rolled onto my back and outstretched my arms to the sides.

"_Worse_. When they're not breathing down my neck about a career path, preferably theirs, they're breathing down my neck about school. Or work. Or friends. Or… Or _anything_! I know they mean well, but every conversation somehow winds up being about me and how I'm doing something wrong," I frowned and narrowed my eyes at the ceiling above me. I knew I wasn't the only one in the world with this problem, but sometimes it felt like it. Honestly, it was nice to vent to someone who wasn't a therapist. To someone who wasn't going to give me some logical advice. Someone to just sit and listen to me and my pity party for at least a few moments. "Sometimes I just want to disappear… Even when I lived on my own they still had ways to contact me, to check in…"

"They just care about you." I couldn't help, but roll my eyes at that blatantly obvious statement. If I had a nickel for every time I heard that one…

"Not to mention it's kind of degrading to be living on your own and having to move back home because you couldn't manage." That statement was far from true. My whole situation wasn't based around drug addiction, but the outside world didn't and never would know that. So, regardless of what the truth was, it looked like I needed to crawl back to mommy and daddy for help. That was something I couldn't live with. "I hope Aerith convinced them to let me keep my place…" I trailed off in thought, seriously wishing that Aerith had actually managed to convince my parents to do such a thing. The woman was a pain in my ass sometimes, but for the most part she was a saint. "What about you?"

"Well," Axel stretched his arms above his head before continuing, "before here I was couch surfing and when the couches ran out, park benches worked just fine." Shit. Here I was bitching about having a place to stay - a well off place to stay, at that - and Axel was talking about sleeping on fucking park benches. He must've caught onto my guilt and the uncomfortable silence because he looked back over at me with his trademark grin. "I'd take a bench over these beds, though, any day." I briefly smiled back at him, feeling it fall off of my face just as quick.

"I'm sorry…" Axel's smile dropped as well and just merely shrugged his shoulders, looking towards the ground again. "How… How long were you homeless for?"

"Not a big deal. I was used to it," He paused again and I could already feel the air growing slightly uncomfortable as if he didn't know what to tell me or what he wanted to tell me. "Uhm… _technically_ since I was about fifteen. I mean, I've had places to stay and shit, but not really a _home_." We fell back into silence. I watched him swallow, unsure if he was going to continue, unsure if I should speak. Axel licked his lips, breaking himself from his thoughts and smiled up at me again. "Anyways. The clinic has a program I thought I'd try this time. They hook you up with a place and job to help you get back on your feet. So, that's good I guess…" I nodded my head in agreement, trying to adjust my eyes when the room suddenly plunged into darkness from Axel turning off the lamp. "I'm going to sleep."

Why did I care so much suddenly?

* * *

**A/N:** Hey guys! I wanted this chapted to be short, like really short. In fact, I wanted it to just be pretty much a blurb, but I kept writing so now it looks like an awkward short chapterr that... just... ugh. I don't know! Just wanted to leave this note so that the shortness was intentional! Thanks for all the reviews, faves, and follows, guys! I really appreciate it and I love hearing from you! 3


	7. Chapter Six

**A/N:** Yar. Thar be fellatio ahead!

* * *

By the next morning, Axel was acting like his old self again and it was almost like we both silently took an oath not to talk about our lives beyond the clinic after that night. It was kind of nice not having to deal with it. My fate, as I said, was in someone else's hands and, while that was unnerving to some degree, at least I didn't have to plan it out. Axel, on the other hand, was meeting with all sorts of people now to work out where he'd be living and working. He still didn't seem to want to talk about it much. I'm sure it stressed him out as much as my life did to me. So, instead, we simply just didn't talk about it and things just started to fall back into their normal routines.

'Normal' is used lightly.

* * *

For the most part, our healing process was well underway and the staff at Radiant Gardens now wanted us to focus on something else entirely. They wanted us to do something creative. It was, in hopes, that the addicts would indeed find some other outlet they could channel to. I still turned my nose up at it. It happed during our free time before we were sent off to our beds and the staff, at the very least, just wanted us to be present for a few minutes. To _try _something crafty. I stared bitterly around the rec room, sitting on a bench of what looked like a cafeteria table from a highschool. The worst part of it was that people were actually getting involved in the activities. They really had all sorts of things. I think they pulled out everything they could except the sports equipment because of how dark it was inside. They had instruments that had seen better days placed out, with some of the addicts playing with the keyboard or the beat up and out of tune acoustic guitar. All trying to relive their teenaged dreams of becoming rock stars. The stuff at the tables is what really pissed me off, though. Sure, some of things may have been okay. There were materials for weaving and knitting, some clay for pottery, some dried pine needles by one of the assistants who was teaching a couple of people how to weave a basket... It was the beads, glitter, glue, and construction paper that drove me up the wall. We weren't five. Some of the addicts were well beyond my age and I knew _I_ wasn't five, so they definitely weren't either. There was no way in hell I was going to do "arts and crafts.""Fucking bullshit," I seethed under my breath, already getting told by some overly enthusiastic assistants to join in. I didn't though. I rubbed my temples to prevent the headache I hadn't felt in about a month from coming back. Instead, I watched the others around the room, hating the sounds of the dull safety scissors failing to cut through the paper. The sheer stupidity of it all, not the mindless sounds, was what was causing the headache. The red headed "man" sitting across from me wasn't helping much either.

Axel was having a blast. Or it seemed like he was. His grin was massive as he dumped glitter onto construction paper. I had no idea what he was making, with his various projects strewn about in front of him, and, honestly, I didn't think he knew either. I watched boredly as he fiddled with some red and green paper making some sort of… flower? It took a few seconds for me to stop trying to figure out what the hell Axel had just made and notice that it was almost right in my face. "There ya go, Roxy! Gunna come back to earth and work on some stuff? Thought this would be right up your alley." I snorted a little at the maturity just radiating from the room and shook my head at Axel, who was now walking over to sit next to me opposed to across.

"Thanks," I mumbled anyways, taking the lump of paper Axel had given me and twirled it between his fingers. "I paint though, Axel. I don't glue macaroni to paper plates. There's a difference." I glanced over at Axel in exasperation, who seemed to be listening intently to me as he continued to smile. I suppose him getting used to me taking my frustrations out on him most of the time and my constant rants were the equivalent of me getting used to his highly attractive, but annoying face. "They're treating us like we're in _preschool_," I continued on anyways, pointing at Axel with the flower he had made me, "And _you_ partaking in this isn't really helping your case on how mature I think you are. I mean, the _least _they could do it give us _real _scissors. These safety ones don't cut shit all…"

Axel laughed, as he normally did when I ranted, and put his arm around my shoulders to pull me closer. I didn't push him away for once. I was kicking myself, but it was nice to have some contact that wasn't out of sheer pity. "They won't give us _real scissors_," he mocked me with air quotes, "in case someone tries to kill themselves. We wouldn't want that." Wouldn't we? "Think of a place for our date?" Again with the date. I rolled my eyes.

"Not a date," I corrected, hiding a smirk when Axel chuckled and shook my shoulder.

"Think of a place for our _hanging out_ _like normal people_ then?" Creepy how he remembered the phrasing I used. "Do you like coffee?" Cliché.

"Coffee's fine. Let's do coffee," I responded dully, tensing up when I felt Axel lean in closer to me.

"If this were a _date _we would do something _amazing_." Goosebumps flooded my skin from him whispering in my ear, my cheeks blushing bright. I nudged him in the ribs with my elbow to pull away and rub my ear, glaring at him. He was laughing at me again. Of course.

"Coffee's fine. Don't do that. They're going to think you lost it and are trying to eat my ear or some shit. Or you'll get me in trouble."

"Don't wanna be stuck in 'detention' with me?" Axel grinned as I turned away from him, still rubbing my ear. I hated when he did that. I really can't explain it, but it just made me feel funny. I hated it. "You should really lighten up and have fun, Rox. I bet you're even cuter when you give a real smile."

"Hard to smile in a place like this," I retorted, grabbing a few sheets of paper to get Axel to shut up about having fun and stuff along those lines. Sometimes I swore he should've been a staff member. "I still find this offensive," I muttered, tearing the pieces of papers into squares before beginning to fold them, "_and_ you really suck at making roses. If that's what you made." I actually couldn't suppress the smile that came from seeing Axel's stunned face as I held _my_ rose out to him. Maybe he was shocked that I actually participated or was insulted that I mocked his origami skills, but either way it was amusing. He shifted his eyes over to me and chuckled again, grabbing my wrist to pull me up.

"You wanna have fun?" He mumbled to me, waving his arm to get Mrs. Hunt's attention. "We need to piss!" He hollered across the room, earning a blushing face from me and a pissed off look from Hunt as she waved the two of us away. Fun? In the bathroom? If that's where we were _really_ going. Oh, that sounded thrilling. Trying to keep my mind out of the gutter, my stomach knotted up. I was hoping Axel wasn't stupid enough to get us caught with whatever we were doing. I had a feeling where this was going and, a few weeks ago, I think I would've stabbed Axel right then and there. But now I was following him. Half my mind trying not to think dirty, messed up thoughts and the other half cheering me on.

I watched dumbly as Axel pushed open the door, making sure no one was in the tiny space, and pull me in. He locked the door behind us and, when I was about to ask what we were doing, one part of me still scrambling to feign innocence, I was pushed against the wall, Axel's lips on mine. I, naturally, froze. Even though I was hoping for and dreading this moment, willingly and unwillingly expecting it, it was shocking how _gentle_ Axel was. I hesitantly closed my eyes when Axel cupped my cheek in his obscenely warm hand and began to kiss back a little at a time. He pulled away finally, resting his forehead against mine. "I like when you smile…" I sneered a little at that comment, my heart pounding in my chest though as butterflies began forming in my stomach. "_And_ I've been wanting to do this for weeks…"

Axel gently tangled his fingers into my hair and kissed me again, harder this time, with more meaning. By now, my brain was growing fuzzy and all I could really focus on was Axel and the jolts reaching the tips of my nerve endings. When he pulled our bodies flush together, I think I lost all sanity. I was gripping at his shirt to pull him closer and kissing back just as easily, allowing him access to my mouth. He pulled back just enough to litter kisses down along my jaw and to my neck, allowing me to pant stupidly from the kissing that didn't seem to take all of his breath like it did mine. He trailed his kisses back up to my ear, biting down gently before nuzzling me. "You taste amazing, Roxas…" The way he said my name, the hiss of the 's,' sent shivers up my spine and a small groan escaped my lips. "Does everywhere taste that good? I can make you feel _amazing_ as I find out…" He laughed lowly in my ear, planting one last hot kiss on my mouth before stepping back entirely. "We should get back, though. You have crafts to do!" I heard myself automatically whine when Axel pulled back, the heat leaving my body entirely. This wasn't fair. I glared a little, blinking in confusion as Axel stepped towards the door. He wasn't serious was he? No, he wasn't. That shit eating grin on his face told me it was my turn in the game. I would've loved to see the look on Axel's face if I chose to go back to the crafts. The look of shock and maybe even horror. But my logical side of the brain, the one that liked to make Axel suffer, wasn't really working.

"Fuck the crafts," I hissed, lacing my fingers with Axel's to drag him out of the bathroom. I was working solely on instincts, but I didn't care. It wasn't fair for Axel to do all of that and then just stop. I knew the bastard was smirking smugly as I pulled him along the hall towards our room. I forced Axel against the door when it was closed behind us, courage (and libido) instantly flooding me when I wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him down to my height. Instantly, I kissed him. Probably a little too roughly, maybe a little too desperately, but this asshole drove me fucking mad. I mentally rolled my eyes when Axel hummed in approval, his warm hands sliding up and down my sides before lightly groping my ass. It was probably then when the light bulb went off in my head.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled quickly, pinching the bridge of my nose after I had stopped the kissing. I took a few steps back with a heavy sigh, making my way over to my bed as I shook my head. "I'm sorry," I repeated, looking up at Axel who seemed confused and disappointed. "We _really_ can't do this. At all. We're not on anyone's good sides, Axel."

Axel's disappointment was wiped off his face and it was replaced by that fucking cocky smirk again. This time, it twisted my stomach into knots. "Oh, Roxy…" He said in a sing-song voice, walking over to me and slowly pushing me down to lay on my back. He put his hands on either side of my head, his green eyes absolutely glowing with mischief. "We're here to get better. What's wrong with us helping each other… release some frustration?" I swallowed loudly when he used one hand to tilt my chin up to brush his lips teasingly against mine. Fuck I wanted him. Hell, I wanted anything to get rid of the raging hard on I had right now and Axel was the perfect means. Besides, after all the shit I had to put up from life, this clinic, and _him _I deserved this! "Anyways, who's going to know? Unless you're a screamer."

I watched the green eyes trail down my body, the grin growing when his line of sight reached my crotch. He shot his eyes back up to mine. "I didn't mean to get you all hot and bothered. I'm sorry." I snorted at his half assed apology, slipping my eyes closed when I felt his hand trail down my chest, stomach, hips, and finally, god yes, the area so desperately needing attention. "Want me to fix it?"

"You're evil…" was all I could manage when he began fondling me. I gripped the sheets as I tried to sort my thoughts and my logical side was losing. Fast. Hell, it'd been losing since the day I had met Axel. Logic really had no meaning with this guy. My hips shifted against their will, trying to get more friction and I decided that it had been way too long since I've been with someone like _this_. After all, I _did_ say I deserved this.

Axel chuckled against the skin on my neck at my statement, goosebumps littering my skin and a shiver going down my spine. I knew he was making marks - little red blotches that'll only be darker later - but I didn't care. He could've probably used a marker to draw a dick on my face and I wouldn't care, because all of my inhibitions melted away when his hand actually slipped into my pants. The contact of skin on skin caused me to gasp, my mind simply blanking.

I was okay with this. I was _so_ okay with this…

But Axel wasn't. His kissing when down my neck and to my collar bone. Lifting up my shirt, he continued. My chest, stomach, hips, and oh god, yes, right _there_.

I had no idea how he did it, but my body instantly gave up and gave in to its own instincts, rendering 'Logical Roxas' utterly useless. Okay, I've had a blowjob before, but _this_. I hated giving Axel credit, but he knew what he was doing. Of course he knew what he was doing. To be honest, I felt like I was on cloud nine. Apparently, it didn't really look like it. I heard Axel hum a little around me, making me groan, as he reached his hand up to gently clutch the hand I had firmly fisted into the sheets. As he laced our fingers together, I noticed that I was shaking and my fingers were oddly cold compared to his. But, just like everything else, it didn't matter. All that mattered was Axel. Axel's mouth, hand, skin, body, heat. His eyes, his stupid smile, his hair…

When I felt myself hit the back of his throat, the muscles constricting around me as he swallowed, I dropped my head to the side with a shaking breath. This was unbelievable. What was I doing? I was letting some drug addict suck me off, but it was incredible and I knew I was getting close. "Please…" I whispered, shocking myself because I really hadn't intended to speak. To _beg_. I was expecting Axel to make some sort of jab at me because of my feeble voice, but I'm sure it was hard with my dick in his mouth. Thank god. I tangled my hand into the mess of red hair, I could feel the tight burning and coiling sensation beneath my navel. The buzzing pleasure. Every nerve was heightened and I was losing it. "Axel…" I whispered, tugging his hair a little, causing him to groan a little deep in his throat.

If I had any dignity left, it was gone now. Moans and gasps were pouring from my lips. My hips were rocking. I was clenching the sheets again. "I can't…" I choked out finally, Axel's hand trailing up my stomach in a quiet answer. I felt the heat coiling inside of me and I welcomed and dreaded it at the same time. My body, unfortunately, betrayed me. My body trembled, my back arched, and stars were shooting off behind my closed eyes. My hand was firmly planted over my mouth to avoid any cries I may have released because, really, the last thing I needed was an assistant running in here to see _this_. My heart was fluttering behind my rib cage, but, fuck I felt so fucking good right now. And, brave, apparently, because as soon as Axel swallowed and stood up to deal with himself, I took the opportunity to return the favour he had given me.

_That_ was a blur.

* * *

"Well that was fun. I didn't even have to wine and dine you…" Axel said, finally, the silence between us breaking. I was almost asleep when he spoke up, still enjoying the afterglow - Axel apparently not doing the same. I thought I had done a good job on him, too. That was painfully evident because, even though I wasn't sure if I couldn't really remember going down on him or if I was just choosing to ignore it, I could still taste the ever present flavour of cum in my mouth.

I sighed, shifting a little and tucking an arm under my head. It was hard to make room on such a small bed, but Axel apparently wasn't going to leave. "I don't put out on the first _date_…" I whispered back, smirking when Axel draped an arm across me. "This wasn't a date."

"Oh, _right_…" Axel chuckled quietly, reaching out to turn off the lamp with a yawn. "I'll go back to my bed later… Before morning…" I just nodded and drifted off to sleep, really not caring at all if he was there or not. I changed my mind in the morning.

* * *

**A/N:** The chapter fell apart at the end. My excuse? School sucks. That is all.


	8. Chapter Seven

The sunlight was blinding me again, but much earlier than normal. It was then I realized that it was because the blinds weren't closed the night before. I was beginning to see why Axel instantly grabbed the bed under the window opposed to across the room. I guess you start to learn these little tricks when you've been at the place five times.

Speaking of the red head… Last night came flooding back thanks to the oh so _appealing_ taste in my mouth. It hadn't bothered me last night, but it just seemed… wrong now. At least I wasn't going to shock at the memories like I thought I was going to. At least I didn't regret it. I wasn't exactly jumping for joy at the fact that I kinda-sorta hooked up with Axel, but… it wasn't bad. Still, I groaned a bit at my stupidity and rolled over in the bed, pulling the blanket over my head to hide from the sun.

"I'm flattered, blondie." I groaned again. Louder and more frustrated. _Why_ was he still in _my_ bed? _Why_? I was already woken up _way_ too early and I really didn't want to deal with Axel right now. At least, not with him hogging half my bed. I pulled the blankets down over my head with a huff to look at him. To see what he was on about now. And then my blood ran cold.

In his hands was my journal. My journal turned sketchbook… My journal turned sketchbook that, sure, consisted of various people from the clinic, but mostly Axel. In his hands. And open. And Axel, you know, the one who the journal mostly consisted of? He was looking through it. _Fuck_.

"Stop!" I cried out, probably too loud for the morning, but I didn't care. I lunged at him, closing extremely short distance between us, and grabbed the book from his hands, snapping it shut. I could feel my face heating up worse than yesterday as he grinned cheekily at me. Compared to last night, _this_ was nothing. To most people. But to me, it just unlocked the level: Creepy Stalker.

"Judging from last night, I knew you liked me," Axel better shut up right now if he didn't want the book shoved up his ass. "I never knew you _liked_ me, though. It's really tou-" I shut him up with a pillow to the face, wishing I had the balls to attack him with the journal instead. Especially because he just fucking _laughed_ at my assault.

"Shut the _fuck_ up and get _off_!" I practically screeched at him. I was embarrassed and frustrated and I _really_ didn't want to deal with his shit.

"We _did_! Last night! Remem-" With another battle cry, I pummelled him with the pillow again, my face turning redder by the second. I hated him. I hated him so fucking much. And he was laughing. _Laughing_ when I wanted nothing more than to strangle him. "Okay! Okay! Calm your tits, Roxy!" He ungracefully crawled over top of me because I was still trying to destroy him with the fluffy bag of feathers, sticking his tongue out when he successfully manoeuvred off my bed.

"You're a fucking prick," I seethed, shoving my journal under the pillow that wasn't currently my weapon, not removing my eyes from the grinning face in front of me.

"Good morning to you, too!" I growled when he grabbed either side of my face to plant a firm kiss to my forehead. Why the fuck was he a morning person? _Why?_ I watched him plop down on the edge of his bed, still staring at me with those acid green eyes. "They are really good though." I sneered at him a little, laying back down and rolling over so I didn't have to see him. "With my looks and your skill, we can make millions!"

"Shut up." As usual, Axel laughed at my half-assed comeback. We both looked over when our door was opened almost immediately after our war and I was half expecting to be chewed out for being 'too loud' before our scheduled wake up time. I was surprised when I didn't hear Mrs. Hunt's voice, but a volunteer's who I had seen around the clinic a few times.

"Axel? There is a phone call for you… It's urgent." I rolled back over to look at Axel who seemed to have the exact amount of confusion on his face as I did. We weren't exactly supposed to be talking to anyone outside of the clinic, despite there only being a few weeks left now. It interfered with our 'healing.' Axel stood up without glancing at me and followed the volunteer out of the room.

I didn't see him for the rest of the morning. It reminded me of the time when I first got here, when he spent his whole day sitting in our room because of the withdrawals. For the first time in weeks, I ate breakfast alone. There was a time when I thought it would actually be a blessing to not have the gangly redhead sitting across from me, complaining about the food. I actually felt like some nerd at a school now. Singled out, eating alone in the cafeteria. I felt the eyes of a few addicts staring at me, probably curious on why I didn't have my towering shadow with me, and it made eating breakfast actually odd. I hadn't exactly noticed how accustomed I had become to have Axel with me almost 24/7. I actually felt… singled out. Like that loser kid in school who sat by themselves all the time. I couldn't take it anymore.

I stood up from the table, leaving the tray with my hardly touched food behind. I had an hour to kill before I had to talk to my wonderful counsellor who, by the way, claimed I was making great progress so I decided to shower or lounge in my room or do something to get away from the all too nosey eyes. Everything here was routine. Every day was the same and nothing changed, so, for the ones who didn't have totalled brains at least, when something different happened everyone wanted in on it. Like the missing, annoying redhead for example. I really didn't feel like being bombarded with all these prying questions I didn't even know the answer to. And believe me, I tried to get the answers.

Axel had left before 'wake up time' and still wasn't around before breakfast. I tried to snoop a bit by talking to some of the nurses or volunteers. Hey, I wasn't exactly _concerned_. Call it bored. As I said, _nothing_ ever changed. Naturally, no one would tell me what was going on. 'Confidential' and all that. Would've been nice if Axel followed those rules instead of sniffing around things like my sketchbook. I assumed that, for whatever reason he was missing, it had to do with the phone call in the morning and, being a good little clinic attendee, I left it at that. Still, even though it wasn't my business, a part of me was wondering if Axel was okay. Axel didn't seem to be exactly close with any of his family members, so it couldn't be that. The phone call was urgent, so maybe it had something to do with the housing the clinic had set him up with? Whatever it was, he took his sweet time showing his face again.

The day continued on exactly like the first day. I was alone. I wasn't bothered. And, except for the prying and curious eyes, everything went the same as it did everyday. Just no Axel. Because I didn't know exactly what was happening to the guy, I couldn't help but feel a little relaxed through the day. It was horrible to say, but the break was nice. I mean, we did get rather 'intimate' just the night before, but I wasn't about to turn into some damsel waiting for her knight, missing him every aching moment. No. The night was the result of hormones and being constantly pestered by an attractive, sex crazy redhead. What exactly was _supposed _to happen? I'll admit, I was trying not to read into it too much, but what was there to read into, anyways? Yeah, Axel said he wanted a 'date' and to 'hang out' or whatever, but he got what he wanted now. Maybe that's why I was left alone all day. I'd be lying if I went to bed that night with a pit of bitterness in my stomach.

Maybe that _was_ all he wanted…

I didn't see Axel again until that evening well after lights out. I wasn't exactly sleeping, my mind was keeping me up, so rude awakening I had to endure almost nightly and every morning didn't disturb me as much as it would had I been asleep. I made out Mrs. Hunt's silhouette in the doorway, a figure I could probably draw without reference as I've seen her so often because she seemed to be the only one willing to deal with Axel whenever he fucked up. Which was a lot. I saw the tall, lanky silhouette behind her, pushing its way past and over to the bed across the room. Axel. He didn't look my way when Hunt did, didn't make any comments, hell, he didn't say anything. He just walked over to his bed, plopping down face first, forgetting his blankets entirely. I sat up slowly, glancing at Mrs. Hunt who merely sighed as she stood at a loss at the foot of his bed. She whispered a few things to him and I could barely make out his voice which was muffled by his pillow, but from the sounds of things he wasn't exactly the happy Axel. He didn't even sound like _Axel_ anymore.

After uttering a 'good night' to both of us, Mrs. Hunt left the room after turning out the lights, plunging the two of us into the darkness. Quiet, awkward darkness. I mean, did I try to comfort him? Did I ask what was wrong? Or would it be better to just go to sleep, ignore him, and pretend nothing was wrong? I knew Axel could snap. I knew he could get pissy when pushed towards things he really didn't want to be pushed towards. He was a stubborn asshole and I wasn't really feeling up to listening to him yell at me for trying to help. But, on the other hand, what if he needed to talk? What if he needed someone to listen…? My stomach was twisting inside of me as I tried looking at Axel through the darkness, attempting to find words to say or something to do. I couldn't exactly just _leave_ him like this. I didn't need to sit with my thoughts much longer because Axel piped up, as if he could feel the tension in the air radiating from me and only me.

"What's your mum like…?" Axel was still face first in his pillow, his voice absolutely pitiful, but I managed to understand him all the same. I was a little dumbfounded at the seemingly random question, blinking through the night as I tried to find out what words to say. _Nosey, overbearing, loud__…_ I'm sure my mom had some good traits, but, given the current circumstances her and my father had put me in, it was hard to think of any.

"Uhm…" I tapped my fingers against the scratchy blankets as I laid back down, my brows knitting together in thought. "She's… protective?" Axel snorted quietly, obviously not pleased with my half assed answer. I smirked a little as I let out a small sigh, my brain attempting to squeeze out some redeeming qualities so I didn't have to bitch about her again to a guy who was already having a shit day. "I mean, don't get me wrong, she drives me fucking crazy, but at least I know she's trying to protect me or she's trying to give me the best. My dad not so much. Mom's the one who really takes over the parental stuff." I heard his bed groan under his weight as he shifted and stood up with a heavy sigh. I watched as Axel walked the short distance between our beds and I shrunk back a little on my bed still not exactly trusting the guy. I was half expecting him to pull some cheesy moves or molest me or something. I wasn't expecting him to wedge himself on what little room there was left on my bed and shut his eyes.

After about five minutes of silence, awkward silence, I licked my lips and rolled over onto my back. It didn't seem like he was going to be moving any time soon. Hell, he could've been asleep by now. Regardless, I asked, "Who called you…?" I caught a glimpse of that bright green when his eyes fluttered open a little before closing them again. He heaved a sigh and rolled over so his back was facing me instead.

"Mom."

* * *

Unsurprisingly, Axel didn't bother elaborating on that way too simple, one worded answer. I didn't try to force it out of him either, seeing no reason to anyways. Axel was as stubborn as he was persistent. So I left it at his word that didn't make any sense and went to sleep. The next day he was back to normal, as if his whole day of moping never happened. The remaining week and a bit, in fact, he was normal, if not getting more excited at each passing day. He didn't speak of it again.

* * *

"Get up!" Fabric smashed into my face and I was cursing the world instantly. I couldn't wait to actually get to sleep in for once. Or at least wake up normally instead of hearing some vomiting, screaming, or, in this case, throwing my clothes at me.

"Fucking hell!" I hollered, my blankets being ripped off my body and hands shaking me violently. Axel had reached his breaking point of excitement which, was conveniently, the day we got out. Thank god. "Axel, what the hell!?"

"We're leaving!" His face was terrifying. I mean, I've seen Axel happy, but that smile was bordering on manic. He tugged the shirt that he came here with on and threw my original clothes back at me again. "Get dressed!" I groaned tiredly, but I couldn't deny that I was glad to get out and got dressed, not even caring about the modesty at this point. Mainly because Axel was too busy rambling on about how we were _finally_ done here and that he was never coming back and yadda yadda yadda. As soon as I finished zipping up my jeans I was forced into one of Axel's famous bone crushing hugs. "Just a few more minutes until Cunt opens this door and then we're free!"

"You're acting like they treat us like animals," I grumbled into his shoulder, trying to untangle myself from the long arms. Axel let me go with mock surprise on his face.

"You're telling me they didn't feed _you_ kibble?" I rolled my eyes as he shot his hands up in the air dramatically, tossing his arm over his eyes. "They made me piss on _newspaper_, Roxy! Newspaper! Here I thought they treated everyone equally!"

"If you haven't noticed, they don't like you very much." Axel's act broke down and he slung his arm around my shoulders, giving me a shake.

"I'll have you know I'm a _delight_ to be around!" He grinned at me, his body practically vibrating when the door in front of us was opened. Mrs. Hunt jumped a little at the redhead suddenly lunging at the small opening between her and the door frame, dragging me by the arm behind him.

"Axel!" He groaned loudly when his arm was yanked on by Mrs. Hunt, stopping him in his tracks. He whipped his head back to look at her, exasperation evidently on his face like a kid who had to wait to open his Christmas presents. "I don't want to see you ever again. Got it?" I frowned at the seemingly threatening words, but Axel's face split into a grin. I was never going to understand the relationship between the two, the one of hatred, concern, and more hatred. Either way, Axel wasn't offended and proceeded to drag me out into the lobby.

It seemed most of the addicts were lingering in the lobby, being reunited with their families or others, without families, walking out of the doors. It was a little overwhelming to say the least. I didn't see Aerith anywhere yet and I was assuming Axel didn't have anyone to pick him up. Hell, I didn't even know where he was going at this point. He didn't really talk about the housing program to me much and he didn't really mention our 'date' anymore, come to think of it. I felt a twinge of hurt in the pit of my stomach, thinking that this would be the last time I would see him and I couldn't help feeling a little betrayed after all the pestering he had done to get me to agree to hang out with him outside of the clinic. Maybe all he wanted was a bit of a blow job anyways. Fuck, I was stupid…

Axel nudged my ribs and ruffled my hair, noticing that I had zoned out. "Hey, you're not supposed to look _disappointed_." He smirked when I looked up at him and I forced a pathetic smile. "Do you not know what 'freedom' means? Isn't that your chick over there?" I followed the direction he was pointing and, sure enough, Aerith had just walked in through the doors, looking around before spotting me with a smile.

"Uh… Yeah… Yeah, that's Aerith," I managed to squeeze out, fumbling with my sleeves. "So, uh… bye?" I offered when Axel didn't say anything, waving a little at Aerith who was waiting for me ever so patiently. Axel rolled his eyes and reached over to the receptionist's desk he was leaning against and tossed a pen at me.

"A rich kid like you has to have a cell," He said with a quirk of his eyebrow, putting his hand towards me, palm facing up. "I'll give you a call whenever I get settled or whatever. Apparently I'm getting a phone of my very own!" I laughed a bit, mainly out of relief and shook my head, grabbing his hand to write down my number. The thought of him still actually wanting to talk at least lifted a weight off my shoulders that I was surprised was even there. "Ah, Roxy. It's an honour to have your digits." With a wink, he grabbed my face like he always did (but in private for the most part) and kissed my forehead. "Get going."

With a heated face, I waved awkwardly at Axel and headed over to Aerith who suffocated me in a hug. I was bombarded with questions that received short, clipped answers because I really didn't know how to answer them. How was it? Fine. How are you feeling? Fine. Are you happy to be done with it? Yes. Was everything okay? Yes. I mean, what was I supposed to say? I just wanted to go home now and not deal with this anymore. In fact, forget about it I guess. Because I was out, the whole time I spent in that clinic just felt like a dream now. It felt like it didn't even happen.

_Thank god_.

I stretched out in the familiar car and sighed, resting my face on the window as Aerith began to drive. She gave up on the small talk for now, happily humming along with the radio. I was glad she didn't get offended like my mother, understanding that I just didn't talk too much when I didn't want to. Not because I had something against her. About fifteen minutes into the drive, she spoke up again.

"Who was that boy?" I rubbed my eyes, blushing again as I realized she probably saw the whole awkward forehead kiss Axel gave.

"My roommate. He's uh… affectionate," I tried to offer coolly, rolling my eyes at her little smirk. I knew she was teasing, but seriously.

"Oh…" Aerith nodded her head, glancing over at me. "He certainly _did_ seem a little cozy with you. What was he in for?" I heaved a sigh and slumped into my seat, feeling a bit of a lecture coming on. She was adamant on telling me not to exactly make friends there, knowing that so many of them turned back to drugs. The last thing I needed was to be seen with some druggy. She wasn't about to ban me or anything, but it still didn't mean I wanted to hear it. Axel was, genuinely, a nice, but annoying, guy. I didn't exactly want to hear about how bad he was.

"Heroin." I kept the answer simple, but honest. I didn't need to start lying, but I didn't need to give out everything at once. It wasn't her business. None of it was, really. I could feel my defensive walls being put up even if I didn't want them to. She didn't _know_ Axel and, by the nod of her head, I could tell that she was thinking how she knew _enough_ Axels to lecture me on this one.

"Just… be careful…" I nodded to keep her happy, but she continued. "Heroin is nasty, Roxas. I mean it… _Be_ careful." She sighed and pushed her hair back as she stopped at a red light. "I'm sure he's nice, but if he goes back to drugs, you don't want to be around him. Especially if he's 'affectionate,'" she cleared her throat and my face flared up again when the light turned green. I knew was she was hinting at. "And you get 'affectionate' back… They don't always use clean needles…" That certain night came flooding back into my mind and I felt a lump rise in my throat along with my stomach giving a sickening lurch. A certain night that actually lacked a key thing that we all learn in high school about safe sex. Condoms.

I'm a fucking idiot.

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**A/N:** Omg! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, lovelies! For those of you who are still kicking around! I'm sorry it took so long for a new chapter, but school's a bitch. But I told myself, I said "BETTY. YOU GET YOUR ASS INTO GEAR AND GIVE A CHRISTMAS PRESENT!" So… it's kinda rushed and shitty, BUT IT'S DONE! I love you all, I love all your reviews, favourites, and follows. Means a lot to me. 3 3 Have a wonderful day!


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